moving my elderly parents to me and medical treatment.

[madametomato]

Hi,

After some advice on moving my parents into our house. Basically they are both quite frail, my DF more so as he has has Parkinson's and has become more frail during lockdown (and I haven't seen him to assess properly).

He now has a continence and urinary problem which needs investigation and a scan. From the sounds of it this is another stop on the long road of ongoing medical treatment from various specialists that never ends when you're in your late seventies. I am making a wild guess that he is going to need ongoing treatment for what could well be prostrate cancer. Unpleasant and worrying of course.

They are waiting for appointments for scans and cameras.

My Dm can hardly see now and they have been trying to sell their house and move nearer to us. They would have bought a bungalow, but that ship has now sailed and there is room here for them, so they will come here. In reality I can come and pick them up with a days notice and arrange for their stuff to come soon after.

My DM is in a paralysis of decision making. Sh his not keen on saying the final word and making their lives different for ever; but they are in a house they can't cope with hundreds of miles away.

Medical treatment - has anyone moved their parents in the midst of cancer treatment or similar. what usually happens?

Sorry you are going through this. Do you have any other family to help support them and give you a break? Looking after 1 elderly, sick person is a full time job for several people. You looking after 2 on your own is FAR too much IMO without support from social services to also help. Have you considered residential accommodation near your home? You might find this is needed sooner rather than later, and its better to settle someone in with some sight, rather than down the line with none at all. Are you going to provide end of life care for your DF if needed? Would you consider a hospice for support? Will you be giving up work to do this?

Do you have a partner? Being a 24hr, 7 days a week carer will certainly take a strain on any relationship. I'd seriously consider professional care or professional accommodation, rather than trying to do this ALL yourself. Best of luck OP. x

I work in an environment where people are moved all the time in the middle of treatment.

Actually now is not a bad time to move as not much is going on anyway. You can always have new referrals closer to home.

If they were actually having chemotherapy it might be a different matter, but waiting for a scan about incontinence, having a new Parkinson's nurse, these are things that happen all the time when older people move closer to their children and won't need to be put in place within a week of arrival.