Please help - badly need some support

[Passthebubbly]

My mum is 65. Has chronic health conditions and has done for 15 years.
She is sadly a classic narcissist. Our relationship has never been good due to some pretty shocking treatment towards me throughout my life.
At this stage she is alone in a sheltered housing flat. Has lost all her friends bar a few acquaintances due to her treatment of them. All other family have walked away I am literally all she has.
She refused to move to where I live when my father died a few years ago. She moved to shelter accommodation at start of this year but hates it and everyone in it.
With corona I have not seen her in 7 weeks as she lives an hour away from me. She is in hospital for treatment 3 times per week and has help where she lives.
Every pain she gets is “the worst pain she has ever had”. In the last few weeks alone she has told me she is having a hand cut off, has cancer and god knows how many other things none of which are true.
The doctor today wouldn’t give her medication for a pain she had, this resulted in texts to me saying she was going to slit her wrists tomorrow. This is about the 5th time I had had such a text.
My own mental health is at breaking point. Everything I have tried to do to help her has been rejected and then she complains nobody does anything for her.
I just can’t cope with it anymore and feel horribly guilty all the time. What has brought it home to me is I must be the only person who does not want lockdown to end as it means I have to be at her beck and call again. I sound awful I know but it’s killing me inside I am utterly broken and exhausted.
What do I do

Not to drip feed but she is housebound without help. Can’t walk unaided but refuses to get a mobility scooter or electric wheelchair to get her around as they are for stupid fat people. She sits in that flat until I go to help her which is up to a 2hr round trip. I am self employed with 2 kids and feel like I’m about to crack up. We tried to get her to move to a lovely flat which was right next to us so we could pop in daily etc but no.

Detach with love, as they say.
Don’t pick up every time she calls, ignore her texts.
Only when you feel strong enough deal with her.

She sounds scared and toxic. She’s fine, don’t worry about her, whatever you do, won’t be enough anyway.

I wish I had seen this earlier. You can ring her local adult health and care )google it) department (social services) and ask for a carers assessment for you.

They will talk to you. I think when she texts that to you about ending her life you should ring her GP surgery and social services and tell them. Even if you feel it's coming from a place of narcissistic behaviour , it's still an extreme thing to say and indicates she's unhappy and her moods get very low. So her GP will want to know. You shouldn't be carrying this all on your shoulders. Part of the carers assessment may result in their telling you about local carer support services which it sounds like you need. In our area that includes carer groups, specialist advice, benefit advice, peer support and carer counselling services