How to help my MIL/ persuade MIL to accept £2000

[Desiringonlychild]

DH and I wish to help out his mum. She is in her late 50s and she worked as a freelance translator for years.She never earned very much (less than 18K and she lives in London), but always had a lot of work which enabled her to raise 4 kids on her own and pay the mortgage. Unfortunately due to covid, her work has completely dried up and we are worried that she might not be eating enough/not have money to pay bills. We used to live with her but we have since moved out after buying our 2 bed flat (we are 2 miles away from her house so we can still do shopping for her if need be). She still has a tiny mortgage , and still has a daughter living at home to support and another daughter doing her masters degree who she probably still sends money to. DH knows his mother is very proud and doesn't want to accept help. So I came up with a plan to enable her to accept the money - request her to 'safekeep' £2000 of our savings i.e. if she needs to dip into it, she should do so, and if DH and I need the money for emergencies, we can also draw from it; after the crisis is over, she can return us the remaining cash if she wants to. I come from an East Asian background and this is usually how it works with parents- child gives parent anything from several hundred dollars to 10-15% of after tax income, parent uses it on a needs based basis but is expected to be a good steward of the money i.e. not splurging it on designer handbags and cruises. Generally, the money is returned to the child after the parent passes on and is a good long terms savings plan in a way. Of course this is a one off and I thought that this was far less insulting than giving my MIL wads of cash. i evidently thought wrong because she rejected my offer. How to persuade her to accept money for her bills?! Thanks.

It’s lovely that you want to help but is it sustainable if this Period of no income lasts longer than expected? She should qualify for universal credit if she is on a low income/no income at present, particularly if she has a child at home to support. Could you encourage her to claim, if she hasn’t already done so?

She may also qualify for an income related reduction to her council tax (this is applied for via the local council).

@WrongKindOfFace her 'child at home' is 22 and doing GCSEs. No she doesn't have special learning needs, she is just very rebellious. And possibly has Asperger's. My mother in law doesn't criticize her and supports her in everything and also pays for everything and it's none of my business how she raises her child. My DH has more strong views on this matter but I tell him not to say anything. We don't want to encourage it though! Her other child doing her master's is working part time to support herself (she gives music lessons on skype), my DH helps her out sometimes (new laptop, council tax etc).

I think she got tax credits, is that the same as UC. She would claim anything she can get, I am sure.

UC is replacing tax credits. She may be better off on UC, some people are. It would be worth getting a phone appointment with someone like citizens advice to do a benefits check?

The daughter doing her masters may be eligible for a council tax exemption if she’s a full time student?

@WrongKindOfFace only full time students get council tax exemption. As she is part time, she doesn't qualify. It's terribly sucky.