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Elderly parents
Original poster

Online shopping in the uk

26 replies

SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 09:41

My parents are elderly and living in the south east. My sister is driving from London to deliver a food parcel weekly. I would like to help but I am abroad. How would you best organise online shopping at the crazy time? I would love to do every other week , just so my sister wasn't carrying the full burden.

If you are wondering why I don't just ask my sister how to work it is because she is saying she doesn't mind but I bet she does.... she also is slow to change / use technology, she e we like probably just get on with it but driving 90 mins each way just feels like a massive burden.

OP posts:
mencken · 05/04/2020 12:13

ideas:

  • Iceland are accepting new registrations and limiting slots to the over 65s/vulnerable/disabled so are a possible. You won't get everything on the list of course. (let's hope this doesn't get abused, everything else does...)
  • many, many places have local volunteer groups set up to do shopping for the elderly and vulnerable. look on facebook for the area; people want to help and are helping.
  • arrangements for food parcels and council helplines are gradually coming together so look on the council website.
  • local places such as smaller food shops, wholesalers, butchers etc are also setting up delivery; places that normally supply the catering trade are switching. Again, try and plug in locally.

you aren't alone in this position and with the internet you'd be amazed what can be done.

Original poster
SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 14:07

Thanks so much for those suggestions. My dad has copd and my mum has a heart problem, both in their 70's. I was wondering do Sainsbury's/ Tesco/ Asda/ Waitrose ever take letters from a consultant as proof of vulnerability? I could get that no problem. Just not sure if it is a thing in the uk (it is where I live, not that I have used it given my age/ health so not sure exactly how it works).

OP posts:
W0rkN0nSt0p · 05/04/2020 16:02

I have an elderly relative who lives alone & is isolating. Does not have internet

All the online "big supermarkets" are closed to new online shoppers & no new slots available & have been for a couple of weeks

Ive managed to get some food delivered via Amazon with free delivery, if you order over a certain amount

I've managed to get a bakery to deliver a treat in post

I've managed to get someone who lives local to my elderly relative to do a weekly shop & I pay them directly online. Found via Facebook, someone offering help

The neighbors have also offered help

I would strongly suggest that you find someone more local to your relative

Goodluck

mencken · 05/04/2020 16:05

what the other poster said - so many are vulnerable that there is no way round it, there is tremendous work going on to increase delivery slots but it doesn't meet demand. The only supermarket accepting new registrations is Iceland.

local help is the way as per my post. there WILL be somebody!

Original poster
SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 16:06

Thanks for the clarity on the point (you just can't find that on google , so genuinely thanks) .

I have someone local, who would definitely help. I will also look into milk man/ veg boxes and some of the options mentioned above.

OP posts:
W0rkN0nSt0p · 05/04/2020 16:06

I'm going to add that lots of people 70, 80, 90+ have a variety of health issues. So a letter, probably won't help

Secondly, some people don't like asking or taking help from other people

That's why I've taken control & sourced some alternative forms of help

--

I feel sad for people that have nobody to ask for help & there must be people out there like that

W0rkN0nSt0p · 05/04/2020 16:08

I've already looked at milkman, they are not taking new customers either

W0rkN0nSt0p · 05/04/2020 16:11

I've registered on Iceland for my relative, but no slots available

Original poster
SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 16:14

Ok thanks for the note re the milkman. I won't bother that option then.

A good family friend works in tescos and would be delighted to help but they have declined her so many times already, it is kind of awkward. I am tempted to just give her a list and pay her..... I think that would be easier than my sister driving 90 mins each way. I wish I was able to help my sister carry the load without drama.

My sister and I were devastated that they went off to Sainsbury's last week, when they have so many people that would gladly help on their doorstep.

OP posts:
Hoghgyni · 05/04/2020 17:41

Have your parents been contacted by the government or their local authority? If so, here are the contact details for Sainsburys:

Follow instructions from the text message or letter you received to register as vulnerable on the HMRC website. If you didn't get contacted, you can register atgov.uk, and then contact your GP to request a letter.

If you haven't been contacted by Sainsbury's already, then you should be soon. A Sainsbury's representative tells HELLO!: "As of Wednesday 25th, we had proactively contacted 270,000 customers who had already given us information that meant we could identify them as elderly or vulnerable. We had also booked slots for 115,000 elderly and vulnerable customers. Our customer careline is working at full capacity and we are able to give an additional 8,000 customers a day access to delivery slots over the phone so we urge everyone to keep trying."

If you've not been contacted already there is a phone number to call for the Careline should you need it. Understandably, Sainsbury's is currently experiencing high levels of demand for the service, but the number to call is0800 328 1700and is available Monday to Sunday 8am - 11pm.

mencken · 05/04/2020 18:22

re Iceland, I found that slots did appear but you need to keep checking. Depends on area of course.

just been an email from Sainsburys - only one adult to shop at a time. If they have these health conditions they are crazy to go out if help is available. It is time to grow up and accept help. That puts far less load on the system than ending up dying in hospital, and they have a much higher risk if they catch it.

have some firm words, and a reminder that if they catch it no-one can visit nor (in the worst case) attend their funeral. Harsh but true.

W0rkN0nSt0p · 05/04/2020 19:07

Many local people are very happy to help under the current situation

Lots of people, especially young have been furlong or out of a job. So they have time & health ( hopefully) to queue to help with other people's shopping

Your sister is making unnecessary travel

Unless she goes to physically check on your parents too - from 6 feet distance away

W0rkN0nSt0p · 05/04/2020 19:10

Some big supermarkets take an hour to queue outside, spaced 6 feet apart

Inside shop need to keep apart

It's not necessarily the shopping, it's the hanging around. Many old people cannot stand for a long time

W0rkN0nSt0p · 05/04/2020 19:12

Good luck Cake

AuditAngel · 05/04/2020 19:34

I had a message today from an older lady asking me to explain click and collect. She Is our parish nun, she has heart problems but hasn’t received a letter and doesn’t have any of the illnesses on the .gov list.

I’ve suggested she speak to her medical practice, but in the meantime I will shop for her tomorrow.

Original poster
SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 20:28

My sister doesn't check on them, she leaves the box and goes. She is very mindful she could make them sick.

OP posts:
Original poster
SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 20:34

Menkhen, although I agree with your points (and they have gone through my mind and freaked me out) I don't think I could say it to them like that, they are very proud people trying to maintain at least a little independence. I think being so direct, would push them away and make them less likely to comply with guidelines designed to protect them. My brother did offer to show them how to do an online shop about a month ago. That would have been great, but they declined him.

I love the Sainsbury's initiative, I will check in with them and see if they have recurved anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 20:35

Audit angel, you are very kind.

OP posts:
Dozer · 05/04/2020 20:39

Am in v similar situation with my parents OP. V worried.

I would take up the repeated offer from the family friend to shop for them.

Oxyiz · 05/04/2020 20:39

Where's your brother? Can he help more?

Original poster
SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 20:56

My brother is great at things like sorting bills or going to medical appointments, but he would be a bit of a disaster at shopping. He is dozy and wouldn't know what they would like. He would do something ridiculous like buy them spicy food, which they would hate.

OP posts:
Original poster
SMarie123 · 05/04/2020 20:59

Dozer I personally would take up the offer of our friend/ neighbour. It is hard for me to do it on their behalf though, would you not agree? They don't seem to accept they need help.

OP posts:
mencken · 07/04/2020 12:37

pride comes before death in this situation. And pride can often equate to arrogance, which in this case is selfishness. They are putting your sister at risk as well as themselves.

all you can ask is for them to be less arrogant to reduce the risk of a solo funeral and the distress that will cause you. And then, I'm afraid, you may have to walk away if they still refuse to see sense.

I am sorry.

Dozer · 07/04/2020 15:12

Agree it’s v hard, would strongly encourage your parents to take up the offer and suggest that your sister does likewise.

jay55 · 07/04/2020 15:17

This list is London centric but some places have national or south east delivery. If they are happy to be a bit creative with options.

myhungryvalentine.com

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