Talk me through what I need to do - dad died, mum going into care

[CMOTDibbler]

After stubbornly clinging onto life by the fingernails for years, my dad died last night/this morning. He was found by the district nurse this morning - mum (who has severe dementia) hadn't realised.

So, mum needs to go into care today which the emergency social worker is organising. But she'll need to move nearer me. And I need to invoke my power of attorney over all the finances to pay for her care etc etc, then sell dads car, the house, so on.
Dad will be going to the coroner, so I can't do the funeral stuff yet, but have spoken to the funeral directors that he wanted to use, and obv there are restrictions at the moment - he wanted a small funeral anyway.

What do I need to do? And how do I do it under lockdown?

I’m so sorry to hear you now have the ils to sort too.
Another veteran of these boards sending you🌺

@CMOTDibbler, sorry to hear what you're dealing with now. You always come across as a very good bright switched-on person and I send you love and strength.

CMOT, I was a regular on this board when my dad had Alzheimer’s and over the years you have posted so much good advice and information for people. I just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss. You really did so much for both your parents and now your dad is gone I hope things will be easier. I know when dad went into a care home for the last year of his life ( having thought off an attempt about 2 years earlier) he was entirely calm and accepting as his disease had progressed so much in that time. Although sad, it was a lot easier to manage for me.

Thank you everyone.

Well, I'm moving things on. Dads death is registered, and they now have a system for ordering extra certificates so thats done and I just have to wait for them to arrive - but have done 'Tell Us Once'.
Just had a chat with the nursing home, and they are applying for a DOL, and we had the DNR/ Advance directive talk. Mum is doing OK, though going to bed at 3pm.

PIL don't seem to be able to plan what they want for the week - I think they had just been buying food day to day and its beyond them. Fortunatly dads my Waitrose card is linked to my Waitrose account (which I'd only ever used to deliver to them) so I can get click and collect slots for the PIL and changed my password so they can add stuff to a shopping list then we have a rota to collect it. Though so far we have had to just decide on food for them and we'll see how it goes after this week. MIL is now on morphine for her pain

Glad you've been able to move things on and sort something to to help your PIL. And thatyour mother is settled.

Any one of those things is tough at the best of times without adding the lockdown on top!