If they keep refusing carers...

[Orangeblossom78]

in the future will SS say no to more care? Or am I overthinking this.

Context: elderly dad, refused carers in past to make meals and check meds, now talking of refusing it again (new referral)

Will they then say in future if he gets worse, well he has refused it twice now? Or does it not work like that.

I mean this time they have granted it again after he refused in the past, guess each time os a new referral. Frustrating situation.

It is only effective at a point when someone loses capacity around the decision being made. Not quite. An LPA for financial affairs can, if the person wishes, be set up so that it can take effect even when the person still has capacity. An LPA for Health and Welfare can, however, only be used when the person has lost capacity for the decision in question.

The LPA is basically the representative The LPA is a Lasting Power of Attorney whose physical form is a document. The attorney is the representative.

Maybe I just need to stand back a bit and let him see the consequences of his decisions.

Harsh as it seems, you do. Because he can - rightly - make his own decisions. But you don’t have to help him to make bad ones, or facilitate those poor decisions. Step back and let him see for himself why his decisions need to be different.

It’s tough. My mother is on this road and it’s gruesome. I sympathise with you...

Yes it is. because in this case, he does have some long standing mental health issues. he told me he was sectioned and given ECT in the 1960s.

Not sure how true that is but he has always had some issues - very disorganised, a hoarder, and now being investigated for deafness and mini mental state exam as well as having a heart condition and on a warfarin type blood thinner.

This meant when he recently cut himself deeply on glass due to hoarding, it was more severe due to the warfarin etc. It is a complex situation. he needed several stitches, also has dizzy spells with his meds but forgets these and insets he is fine.

It makes it very hard to weed out the different problems and overall judge needs etc, the local council seems quite good in supporting with care though (in Scotland) I guess most of it is in their hands

His housing warden thinks he needs us to be 'his voice' she is a former psych nurse and know him well. I know that standing back might mean another call from hospital as he may have injured himself again.

Mind you neighbour and in laws are also having medical emergencies and falls etc so got it all going on here, there are limits as to what can be done at times.

I think it’s incredibly difficult to strike the right balance. No harm at all in thinking about the level of decisions you can help him make and when you might need to agree to disagree.
If he’s always hoarded then it’s not necessarily a capacity issue. Sometimes it is best to accept others need to be involved in providing support. You just need to try and keep open communication and provide the support for him to make his decisions in the undoubtedly kindly way you have been doing.

If he’s always hoarded then it’s not necessarily a capacity issue. The nature of it may change with diminishing capacity - My dad has always done what might be considered as hoarding - saving anything that "might come in useful" - a rational behaviour pattern for someone who grew up during the Depression and WWII. And he's always been distressed about (anyone) losing "information" - he doesn't buy my argument that if you can't find it when you need it there's no value in the information. As he's got older he's got more determined and less rational about what he keeps and less able to keep it tidy and in order.

In this case it was broken glass- some frames left lying around which caused the injury, housing warden says it is become a 'health and safety issue' and it was also mentioned in the social services referral from the hospital. Of course part from injury and fire risk it is also the concern as it is council run and they need to keep it 'to a reasonable standard' he may lose his home. But I suppose he would be given notice for that. the glass is clear now.