Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

Advice needed for 92 year old

4 replies

nitgel · 27/02/2020 10:56

We are very worried for her and would appreciate any advice.

She is 92 and though has not been formally diagnosed with dementia has severe memory problems and since having a few falls the needed hospitalisation had an episode at Christmas where she suddenly could not walk so was hospitalised again for 6 weeks.

She previously had a carer four times a day but we have stepped this up to full time as she cannot be left alone. She just gets up and starts walking with her frame aimlessly then tries to find the chair again to sit but needs guiding to do this.

We have a bed in the lounge now with sides so she cannot get out, but she has a catheter still in (which is being assessed next week).

We really do not know what to do next, I suppose she would need a care home? but it seems awful after everything being set up at home for her. She seems healthy enough apart from her walking and memory, she is like a child really.

I suppose I am just asking if anyone has been through any thing similar? She lives alone but about half a hour from us. We couldn't care for her full time as both work and need to work. She is self-funding as she has savings and owns her own house.

I have contacted care homes but they seem to not want someone with dementia. Also they want proof that she can pay for up to 4 years, surely owning her own house would cover this?

Am just very confused what is best for her. I would like her to remain at home but her carers keep saying she needs a home. I think the change would be horrible for her. There's no support or no-one to advise us. Her dr seems to think we could step down the care from full time to four times a day which to me would just be asking for her to have a fall again. sad the dr has not even seen her. Any advice would be good, Thank you

OP posts:
colinsleftnipple · 27/02/2020 15:50

I've just replied to the other thread.

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/02/2020 09:56

had an episode at Christmas where she suddenly could not walk so was hospitalised again for 6 weeks. My father had this, from taking himself independently by nus to shops and appointments, to not being able to weight bear, in less than a week. In his case, exacerbated by not taking his diuretic tablets. He was living alone without carers, but on his release from hospital he started having carers twice a day, meals on wheels, and frequent visits from the district nurse.

We didn't get as far as full time care, and after another couple of hospital admissions and another fall, he was admitted to a nursing home as an emergency, and has stayed there since. We discovered that his weight had dropped by two stone.

The nursing home were able to make sure he took his drugs regularly, and that he was eating well, so he's regained all his weight and lost his oedema.

You may need a nursing home not a care home, and one that takes dementia patients even though your mother doesn't yet have a dementia diagnosis (neither does my father). Apart from other things, homes which accept dementia patients have locks on the doors which means residents can't leave freely.

Requiring evidence of being able to pay for several years is quite a common thing, although our home has never asked for it, possibly because it also takes council-funded residents, so if he ran out of funds, the council would take over. Owning her house should cover it, but they'd want proof that she did in fact own it.

The change will be difficult, but it will come some time, and possibly earlier rather than later is better, while she still has understanding of what is happening.

If you search for care homes on the Care Quality Commission website, there is a box on the RHS of each care home labelled Specialisms/services - look for homes that include "dementia".
www.cqc.org.uk/what-we-do/services-we-regulate/find-care-home

Look for quality of care rather than quality of facilities. The most expensive homes are not necessarily the best. If there's a likelihood that her money will run out before her body does, there's some point in choosing a home that she will be able to stay in if the Council is paying, though it's hard to see the future, If she doesn't already get it, look into getting Attendance Allowance, which is not means tested. People who are Council funded in a care home can't get it, but if she's self funded, she can.

nitgel · 29/02/2020 06:27

Thanks mere. We have just visited a nusing home that seems perfect and they are assessing her today so fingers crossed

OP posts:
nitgel · 29/02/2020 08:47

sorry forgot to say thanks to everyone. there's so much to sort out it's all confusing.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread