Can we refuse to take Mil home from hospital.

[Burlea]

I asked about diabetes on another thread.

Mil 91 was admitted to hospital last week because of a water infection, while there they found her diabetes was up and down.
This water infection caused her to loose her mobility. So she can't go to the loo on her own, 2 nurses have to take her.
She is still on antibiotics for this infection. (3rd lot)
Her blood sugar is below 3 in the morning so they give her tea and toast. By the end of the day it's up to 20 it has been a lot higher. They have started to give her insulin
instead of tablets to try and regulate. When home a district nurse will call and give her the insulin. We don't know enough about diabetes to know if this is feasible.
Last night they moved her from the ward she was on(without telling us) and moved her to a rehabilitation ward and they have told her not us that she is to
start using her walking stick on Monday to hopefully discharge her by the end of the week.
At home she won't have strangers in so my Dh, DD and myself are her carers. As everyone will understand we can't be there 24/7 and she won't let us.
My worries are who will help her to the loo in the middle of the night. What if we are not there and she has a hypo.
Can we refuse her coming home as we don't think she is well. She still has the water infection. Diabetes all over the place.
Is there anyone we can call to assess her or will the hospital arrange an assessment of her needs.
Sorry for the questions but we desperately need advice.

@Wilmalovescake

If the only reason its considered an unsafe discharge is because MIL is refusing suitable home care then,unfortunatly there is little the hospital can do, thats her decision.

The risks of refusing home care will be explained to her and if she still refuses the hospital cant be forced to keep her in because of family concerns.

Like previous people have commented... old age is something we prepare for our whole working lives for. Its unresonable for a 91 yr old, living alone to refuse free LA care and assume that the family will do everything for them. Thats the real issue here (the MIL refusing care) i think rather than it being an 'unsafe' discharge

I find this really sad. The hospital isn't a care home, and will most probably be requiring her bed. Over the Christmas period there was people walking around our local hospital wearing badges saying "talk to me if you want to go home". One lady was desperate to go home, but her family had gone skiing for Christmas and therefore she would have been an unsafe discharge. Her family had chosen to leave her there and go skiing rather than bring their mum home. If your mum is ready to come home, she needs to come home.

It's about finding a balance. Your mum would need a care package in place, and if this cannot be you, then she would need to accept a care plan. The hospital shouldn't allow her home without safe plans in place. But also bare in mind the longer she is in the hospital, the more likely she is susceptible to an infection. Sadly MRSA/C-diff is really common in catheterised patients, so the sooner they're off the ward, the better.

Update today.
Mil was moved to a rehabilitation ward on Thursday evening and the difference in care from the other ward is outstanding.
She is now able to go to the loo on her own. Dress herself and shower. On this ward there is plenty more staff who are helping her to
become independent again.
We have spoken to the consultant today who has explained everything to us about her diabetes. He also said she will not be discharged
until they have her diabetes under control. The staff have shown mil and us how to use the insulin pen and check her bloods. And from tomorrow
Mil will be under supervision giving her own injection. The water infection has at last cleared up.

We cannot believe the difference in care from one ward to another. We are not as worried about her coming home.
She is a very independent lady, she broke her hip 3 years ago and stopped all painkillers after 4 days. I think like her we panicked about how she would cope
at home.

Thank you for all your replies.

Oh, nice to hear some good news, Burlea. You must be so relieved.