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Elderly parents
Original poster

Buying things for them / PoA

20 replies

Orangeblossom78 · 01/02/2020 12:46

Hi has anyone any advice on this please? My dad said I could buy him some things he can't get easily online. I have Amazon prime so it means free delivery to his address. Anyway I don't have P oA for dad, but he does have capacity (at present) Is it Ok for me to use his bank card to order him some stuff on Amazon and get it delivered, given that he has given me permission? It is stuff like socks and incontinence pants etc

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MereDintofPandiculation · 01/02/2020 13:21

Morally it's fine, but if you ever have problems with fraud you open yourself to the bank refusing to compensate because your father hasn't been diligent in security by giving has card to you. It;s better to do it above-board as far as the bank is concerned, either through PoA or through an arrangement that other posters will be able to tell you about which give authority and possibly a second bank card.

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 01/02/2020 13:24

Ok that makes me think. We had a time recently where my son (14) had used my card with Ebay and someone fraudulently used the account. Ebay and the bank were Ok about it (and refunded the fraud amounts) but that is something to think of also.

But I think using it on a site like Amazon may be better than Ebay. Maybe I should have got P oA. I'm on PIP and I wondered if DWP might query being an Attoney at the same time. It made me anxious. But now the card thing is doing the same

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HappyHammy · 01/02/2020 13:26

Can you pay for them and he gives you a cheque or get him to go to his bank so you can have third party access to his bank account. If you're buying things like continence pads go to a health site, I use the complete care shop, you dont pay vat and they are much cheaper and have a much better range than Amazon prime, they sell just about anything you could ever possibly need.

SoupDragon · 01/02/2020 13:28

Firstly, I would sort out POA whilst your father does have capacity. Don't leave it until you suddenly find you need it.

Can he just pay you back when you see him? Or pay in advance.

DS1 has put his own card details onto my Amazon Prime account and just orders stuff himself. DS2 has access to the Prime benefits under his account as I have authorised him as part of my "household". I think you are meant to live at the same address for that though.

HappyHammy · 01/02/2020 13:28

If he wants you to have poa for his finances then you can help as soon as it's been registered if that is what he would like, people can still have capacity but want to hand over poa for finances. The health one is only used when someone loses capacity.

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 01/02/2020 13:35

I get PIP and one of the criteria they picked was me needing support with finances due to anxiety. So if I was P o A that would contradict that I think and they might pick up on that. I can just see it at the PIP assessment.

It is all making me quite stressed so think if dad loses capacity I'll just leave this with my brother, it is so easy to do anyway when it is set up (e.g suscriptions to the pants every month)

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Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 01/02/2020 13:35

I mean they might have problems with my capacity!

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NoMorePoliticsPlease · 01/02/2020 13:41

I think I would pay on my account and then get brother who has the POa to reimburse you. Have you discussed this option with him?

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 01/02/2020 13:44

The other issue is fraud. My son used my debit card in Ebay and someone hacked his account. I mean Ebay / Paypal and my bank were fine and refunded me OK. But that can be an issue. I guess that is less likely with Amazon though.

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Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 01/02/2020 13:45

My brother is not using the P o A yet as Dad still has capacity

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HappyHammy · 01/02/2020 13:55

You can start using poa for finances if the person has capacity and has ticked the relevant box. Once it has been registered a d the person wants the attorney to take over all you need is a copy of the poa to show the bank and utility companies if he wants to set up standing orders or pay bills.

FuzzyAtmosphere · 01/02/2020 13:58

Why don’t you set up an Amazon account for your dad with his card added to it, then you can just do the purchases that way. A lot of things are free delivery anyway or else you could see if he wanted his own Prime.

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 01/02/2020 14:04

We already pay for Prime for the family that would mean having to pay for another Prime separately. It's quite expensive. I hoped to make use of ours.

I'm not sure the Attorney people would let me be one anyway if PIP think I am too anxious to make 'complex decisions with money'

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MereDintofPandiculation · 01/02/2020 22:54

From what you say about PIP, I think I would avoid being an attorney. PIP assessment is not rational. It's more important that you don't do anything cast doubt on your PIP entitlement.

If you're just using one well established site for your father's purchases, and taking reasonable precautions like having antivirus, not doing monetary transactions over a public wifi, etc, you're at low risk for fraud. I'm sorry I alarmed you by mentioning something which is a relatively low risk provided you take due security precautions.

Nomorepolitics and fuzzyAtmosphere both have good suggestions. You need something that works without you feeling anxious about it.

cuckooken · 01/02/2020 22:57

I have ordered stuff online many many times for various family members over the years, using their cards. It's not an issue at all, but if you are worried just do the transaction when he is with you.

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 02/02/2020 09:00

Thanks for the replies. yes doing it with him on the phone is a plan, they sometimes ask for extra info or send codes to the home phone now anyway as an extra layer of security.

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/02/2020 07:49

Is it Ok for me to use his bank card to order him some stuff on Amazon and get it delivered, given that he has given me permission?

I would not do this, use your own card instead. He may have given you permission but the card remains the property of the bank. I would look at contacting his bank and obtaining third party access to his bank account (that is far easier to do than setting up a power of attorney document).

GrasswillbeGreener · 05/02/2020 20:20

I agree with getting 3rd party access that would sound useful in your situation. I've had that on my mother's account for years and it was straightforward to set up in a branch.

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 08/02/2020 11:40

Ok so now I'm having another issue with this. My sibling is telling me not to buy things for dad, he will see he has things he needs. But dad asked me / gave me permission to get things for him.

My sibling is getting P o A for dad. But dad has capacity. Feeling a bit stuck. Not sure what to do.

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Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 08/02/2020 12:54

I think I'm going to just leave them too it for a bit and check in with dad etc from time to time, got my own family to focus on really

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