My mother phoned me at 3.00am

[fivedogstofeed]

.. to ask when it was going to be light.

We then had a conversation about how I strange it was that everyone here was asleep and how it wouldn't be light until around 8.00.

She has a dementia diagnosis, but won't accept it and refuses all help or medication. It seems like she wavers in and out, and at times can be OKish for a few weeks, but losing all sense of time is her most obvious symptom when things are getting worse.

That must be hard - particularly as you wouldn’t want to block her calls overnight in case of emergency.

Presumably she lives alone with no-one on hand to discourage 3.00 am phone use?

I’m sorry I can’t suggest a solution. Perhaps someone else can.

Something like this might be useful:

dementia.livebetterwith.com/products/unforgettable-2-in-1-calendar-day-clock-8?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-4r1irKf5wIVAuDtCh25RwvrEAAYASAAEgL4QfD_BwE

Or this one:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Newest-Version-Options-Dimming-Display/dp/B0711Y1P92/ref=mpssa112sspa?adgrpid=54835385202&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-4r1irKf5wIVAuDtCh25RwvrEAAYAiAAEgIQGfDDBwE&hvadid=259090288956&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=1006483&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t2&hvqmt=e&hvrand=10607977790597791424&hvtargid=kwd-302918111183&hydadcr=25351795137&keywords=digital+dementia+clock&qid=1579977325&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExQVpNRTdHS0dQQ0RVJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNjI2MzYzMUFSWUFaNFdVQ0dIMSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMzA4NjEzM1FDRkRDM1hQTFI1VCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX3Bob25lX3NlYXJjaF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl

Its so frustrating isn't it , my mum in law wouldn't accept it too , we bought the day clock but she never looked at it , didn't want notes about the house , wouldn't stay indoors until someone called for her and so on . Eventually she had to go in a care home and although she wasn't very happy, it was a relief to us as she wasn't eating properly and was dirty

My DM didn't call us. Instead she would call the Police. Even with my DF beside her in bed.
The Police then flagged my mum’s case to social work. She and DF escalated themselves on to the Council’s Emergency Team’s list. We had no idea she was calling the Police. Just saying it’s possible her calling circle might widen ...

@rinsefirst yes she did once try to phone the police because apparently noone else was answering... thankfully was having one of those days when she misdialled conatstantly so didn't get through. She has phoned friends as well, which I feel so bad about as they are also elderly and getting a phonecall at 3-4 in the morning is quite scary.
She has those clocks, one in the bedroom and one in the kitchen. I thought they were brilliant, but don't seem to make any difference in the middle of the night.
There's no answer really. She lives alone and tbh still functions reasonably well day to day.

I'm so sorry, that's very hard on both of you.

I wonder if a gro clock might help? It has a visual count down until morning using pictures of stars. It's designed for toddlers but that might mean it's easy to understand in the middle of the night when she's confused.

Ha yes, used to have a gro clock for DD1, might be worth a try.

The good thing - if you can call it good - is that she will be flagged up with social services and on their radar if she repeats the calls to the Police. It’s v difficult all round. Sadly though there is only one direction of travel when she wavers in and out but the phoning might just be a spell and not a regular thing. The sw team stepped up their efforts for my parents and sent them Alzheimer’s visitors 3 days a week after the calls began. Looking back with hindsight the calls were actually useful in the scheme of things. Maybe there will be some medication available from her gp to help her sleep better? Sending virtual support.