Hoarding

[Orangeblossom78]

Has anyone else an elderly parent who hoards stuff? Mine is my dad. He's in his late 70s. Over the holidays he hurt himself on some of the stuff he hoards (picture frame) cutting himself and taking himself into hospital. He rang an ambulance. He's OK but now getting discharged, they say he is physically Ok for discharge although his sheltered housing manager is concerned it's not safe for him to go back there.

The hospital physio spoke with me and they have started a social care referral for him due to the hoarding but called it a 'lifestyle issue' So that has started at least. Anyway I live in a different country so it"s not easy, nor will he get rid of anything. He (dad) tried to tell me it was a picture hanging on the wall fell down which is untrue as well so I am struggling with that a bit.

My sibling who lives closer says they aren;t happy he was discharged and he needs carers in. But I think they are a bit naive to the level of need required for this, I know for example and elderly lady who had a stroke, and a friend with severe MS neither of who have that level of care.

He rang me and was home having made himself some rice pudding and told me it is warm at least. I guess being in sheltered accommodation itself is good. It is not the most supported one in the block, there is no availability for that one the warden said.

I wondered if anyone knew about the social care assessment in terms of hoarding? Or could share any experience. I am a little wary of getting too over involved due to some childhood / growing up issues (parentification basically) but Ok with helping him try and help himself Thanks

Hoarding is nothing to do with social services unless he has eligible needs and needs care and the hoarding then becomes a barrier to the care getting into the house/having room to provide care.

He can have the assessment as he's entitled to one and the care that others may or may not receive is irrelevant- you'd be amazed how many people need and are entitled to care and refuse it or are assessed as self funding and refuse to pay. You can't know what goes on with anyone else.

Try to organise a Safe and Well check or whatever it's called local to him with the fire service as they like to be aware of hoarders.

Is it clean hoarding or dirty? E.g. useful/sentimental stuff he keeps or is it food waste, rubbish and or excrement - is the place clean(ish) but difficult to access or so unpleasant that carers would refuse to go in anyway (v common).

It's not as easy as just cleaning it away, hoarding is a mental health issue most of the time and that needs to be tackled first.

We had this with FIL. He was a lovely man and went downhill very quickly, leaving us with an enormous pile of random things to clear when he died of a heart attack. It's difficult but I dont think anyone could actually force him to hand over possessions.

Is he hoarding as in keeping piles of old newspapers, food wrappers etc? Or does he merely have a huge quantity of "stuff that may come in useful" which he hasn't used in 30 years and is unlikely to use now? I'm not sure the latter is a MH issue, more a combination of a frugal nature and of living through the war and having "make-do and mend" firmly imprinted on your psyche.

All sorts of stuff, from old dolls and cameras to piles of newspapers apparently (haven't been in in years as live a long way away)

Apparently he had carers coming in but he sent them away, (couple of years ago). he now has a cleaner only a couple of hours a week.

He has other medical stuff such as heart condition and is on warfarin type stuff. Recently had an episode in hospital due to cutting his foot on hoarded glass. Bleeding maybe worse due to the blood thinning meds, he didn't seek help for hours either.

So, the hospital told me they had arranged a SS referral and also transport home, said if it was unsafe environment that was not their problem as fit medically. he said the ambulance staff came in and saw the glass.

My sibling is going in today to try and help make it safe, but he was discharged two days ago.

I think the place is cleaned once a week but they mainly do the bathroom area. It is sheltered housing from the council

said if it was unsafe environment that was not their problem as fit medically. That's interesting, that's a different attitude to the one I'm used to. It frees up a be1 o9iyhd immediately, but he may be back in a week's time with something more serious. It also leads to such things as rough sleepers being chucked back on the streets before their pneumonia has cleared.

Yes they said the home risk would need to be assessed 'in the community' I think they have targets, were extremely busy as well lots of flu cases. They said he might catch flu if he says in.

My sibling is going to try and help him clear up as lives nearby. He has said he is open to getting rid of some stuff (maybe now he has injured himself on it) so we'll see

be1 o9iyhd Cats!!!

He has said he is open to getting rid of some stuff That's great news! If any of it is good enough for charity shops, try the argument about how it's good to let someone else have the chance of using it if he can't use it himself immediately.

Yes I'm interested to hear how that has gone. Maybe now he actually injured himself on it and ended up in hospital that has given him thought, or even the idea that he might lose his home for not keeping it together. You never know

My mother hoarded. It's intractable, hard to deal with and almost impossible to get help with - we were passed from place to place and it never seemed to be anyone's responsibility.

Two things. If he's otherwise competent and able to make decisions, then it does become, as you were told, a lifestyle choice. And in some ways, helping him manage it safely is probably the best course of action.

But the advantage you have - my mother owned her own home so no one could help - is that he is in sheltered accommodation. Do they have any rules or regulations? And what do the cleaners say, can they cope with it?