Concerns over brother as an executor of dad's will

[Winn1e]

I have query about my eldest brother who had hardly supported and/or responded to numerous appointment and health update emails from the rest of his 4 siblings over the past few years re: our 93yo dad's cancer (multiple myeloma) treatment, but responds almost immediately when the issue of drawing up a will comes up.

NB. Our brother is a registered accountant, and wanted to make it clear in his recent correspondence that he would be prepared to act as an executor when it came to administering my dad's//parents joint will, (whilst making it clear that it was an onerous task that requires getting the finances right).

But given there have been tensions in the past between us as siblings, should we be concerned that he is offering to act as an executor, whilst also being a beneficiary of my parents (future) will? Is there any scope for fraud or underhand activity if he is left to record my parents financial assets, (as part of the probate process), and to then distribute those assets evenly amongst the beneficiaries named in the will?

Who has been named to act as the executor of the will? The persons will should have this on. The executor normally has to sign something to agree to be an executor

Surely as an actual accountant he had even more reason to act properly as if he acted dishonestly and was caught, he'd lose his professional accreditation and his job?

No one has been named yet. The will has yet to be drawn up and my parents have yet to decide who will be their executors.

My brother wasn't initially one of their choices, and is telling the rest of us an outside/independent executor is unnecessary - whilst also saying he'd be prepared to be an executor.

I'm not saying my brother is necessarily a bad person - but I don't think it would be beyond him to shaft the rest of us siblings, if he could do it in a legal and underhand way,

All siblings can be executors. There doesn’t have to be only one.

You can have more than one executor. My brother and I were both named but I did all the work and he checked it all. It wasn’t a difficult job as the estate was straightforward but if it had been more complex I would have preferred to pay someone else to do it. The lawyer who held the will was very clear that it was a job I could do myself so I did.

No harm in suggesting that there be more than one executor.

My mother had multiple myeloma too. It’s a horrid disease, you have my sympathies.

My parents will is 50/50 to me and sister and I think we're both executors but I imagine I will do it (as I'm an accountant) or at the least be the one who liases with a paid expert to do the more tricky parts and I do the dog work.
Just seems the best use of talents.if I am listing assets surely it'd also have back up support for each valuation. Which anyone else is welcome to check too.
I could hide a bank account from the list but then so could any other executor. I mean how would any external person know about a random online savings account someone may have?

Ask your parents to maybe make a list of accounts with account numbers so that is a starting point. No need for any values if they don't want to.
In fact everyone should try and do this sort of list and leave near their will.

He wasn’t in the choices as executors, he’s not interested except where money is concerned and he’s part of the tension between siblings.

Sounds like the original choices for executors would be the best choice. He doesn’t get to stamp his feet (if he would do that) and insist just because of his career choice.

Yes, my mum wanted my sister and I to support with their wishes/will. I'm also aware we can have up to 4 executors to act on my parents behalf re: their will.

Thank you Temporaryanonymity, I'm sorry your brother also had this condition. My father is currently classes as 'end of life' as he has end-stage renal failure, and has to have regular blood transfusions to treat his anaemia.

From experience with family it’s always best to have an independent person (often the lawyer who wrote the will.). It avoids all family arguments and the money being used a weapon. Either that or have all siblings named plus one non related person such as a family friend.

Thank you burnoutbabe for suggesting my parents keep a list of their accounts and account numbers. They have told me all they have is their house and bank accounts as personal assets.

I was a little cautious though when my brother sent us a link for gifting my parents home to their children, as a means of mum potentially avoiding future care bills once my dad dies.

I don't think it's as straightforward as this, as local authorities check against this when assessing peoples' assets. Also, if my brother were to have a proportion of the home signed over to him (effectively making my mum a tenant in her own home), then might this also be a potential issue for underhand motives?

Thanks Thegoodandbadlife, that seems like good advice. We only have the option of nominating 4 executors, among 5 children - but had considered having one of my other brother's wife being an executor, along with my sister and I, (and potentially having a solicitor as the 4th executor).

We will obviously have to discuss this delicately/sensitively as a family, and ultimately it will be up to my parents to decide. However, my mum is dead-set (at the moment) against paying for a solicitor to be one of the executors.

Ask yourum to stick to the original plan.It doesnt sound as if they have complicated arrangements so it will be easily manageable by you.

Having recently been ripped off of a £600,000 inheritance I would be overly cautious here, if your parents don’t feel having him as an executor is right then it probably isn’t, suggest a completely independent account or have ALL of you as executors ! That way nothing can be done without the other everything has to be transparent, go with your gut. Xx

If this is an issue before will even drawn up I would have solicitor as executor

I would get a solicitor to act as executor. Even with the cost it can be better all round in the long run. A solicitor will have transparency and accountability. Not so an executor regardless of their profession. If there is a dispute you will end up needing one. If you really don' t want to go with a solicitor or it isn't supported insist on more than one executor and ensure you have complete transparency even now. It may be an idea to consider setting up a power of attorney too which specifies in what circumstances a living person's affairs can be handled in the event they become incapacitated. You can have more that one POA. Increasingly important with elderly relatives likely to need care. You might want to think about getting accurate and independent financial advice. It's complex as there are rules around wilful disposal of assets to try and avoid care home fees. I'm sure you will want the best care should it come to that. Watch out for behaviours that don't quite add up. Taking control of finances, day to day decisions, engagement with authorities, not providing information unless asked, not forthcoming, promoting that they are on hand and subtley discouraging efforts to help from other family and so on. i wish you all the very very best. Take care.

There is no support for vulnerable people with Alzheimer's and dementia and they are being LED down the wrong path

There is no law to protect these people with this disease my sister got my mum to change her Will and she kidnapped her from the home she lived in for 47 years and made the tyre Care Home in Kent where she's never been before and the law has allowed this because there's no law in place that States she cannot do this she also got my mother to change the will knowing that she scored 6 out of 30 on an assessment

My brother is executed of our dads will, not following protocol at all. I was given 50% of our dads ranch, brother will not meet with me to divide the property. Is going to sue me for not accepting his offer to buy my half, the offer was a joke.he has not done any of our dads requests in the will. One was he wished to buried in the state where the ranch is. He lived in a different state with his wife when he passed, she had him cremated and kept his ashes. The law firm that drew up the will has dissolved. However one of the attorneys that drew up / signed the will is now a retired federal judge. It clearly states in the will that if my brother & I argue, a judge will decide. Brother has an attorney. I am not/ cannot retain legal counsel. The will Is clear. How can I get this to a Judge. My brother hates me now beyond words because I will not let him manipulate me.

I strongly suggest that your parents appoint the solicitor who draws up the will to be executor. It doesn't have to be a family member at all.

”I was a little cautious though when my brother sent us a link for gifting my parents home to their children, as a means of mum potentially avoiding future care bills once my dad dies“

Do not let him be sole executor. His suggestion is morally corrupt, prioritises his inheritance over your mum’s quality of care, and is likely to be seen as deliberate deprivation of assets. God knows what he’d get up to if he was in charge of the estate.

I'm sorry for what you are all going through with your DFs myeloma. My friend went through that so I feel for you all & wish you a ton of strength

I'm glad you've asked this question though & I'll be reading replies.

I have exactly this situation only there's me & younger DB. 83 yo DF has now set up his will & after some weird manipulative behaviour on DBS part, which saw him do himself out of my doing him a favour (asked for by DF) so that he could benefit from any inheritance as he's disabled & relies on benefits which he stands to lose when he inherits from DFs will, he is now the executor. He's shown his hand this last couple of weeks with some very nasty behaviour. There's also worrying MH problems at play & I know from his rant at me that he believes he now has all of the power to stop me inheriting anything & he's very bitter that he'll now in effect get nothing himself. DF is thankfully well right now, though not speaking to me or DB because of lies & manipulative behaviour from DB & DF not knowing what to believe. So like you I'm not having to deal with it now, but can see I'm probably in fir a rocky ride. I think DB is also annoyed that DF wants my DD to have an equal share, even though he agreed this with DF

I hope your situation turns out to be a lot simpler, but it sounds like good advice to avoid your DB being an executor of your parents will & have multiple where possible

You can have all four or any combination of the four siblings as Executor. Also instead of appointing a solicitor as Executor you can appoint a solicitor to administer the estate. Is your father intending to leave all his estate to his wife. This would probably make it easy enough to administer. I am assuming the house is in joint names and would pass to his wife by order of survivorship and any other joint accounts. These would still need to be declared but would not form part of his estate. Depending on the amounts in any sole accounts probate would need to be produced to release any monies. When informing a financial institution of a death. They will want to know if there is a will and who are the executors and may require a copy of the will and perhaps I'd fir the executors. I used to deal with deceased accounts fir a financial institution but my knowledge may be a bit rusty. I am a bit concerned about the idea of your db having your mum have her home signed over to some of her grandchildren. Does your mum know that if she does this then you and 2 siblings would probably not see any of that inheritance. Also there is the deprivation of assets to consider if a care home is needed down the line. Also a solicitor should make sure that your mother would still have a right of residence to remain in her home.