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Elderly parents

Worried about Dad’s forgetful episode with history of heart issues

4 replies

alphasox · 30/11/2019 16:44

My dad is only 71 but has a raft of health issues and something my mum said on the phone earlier has really rattled me. Especially because in 2 days he’s due to drive himself and mum the three hour journey to my house and then spend the week helping me with my children and the school runs while I have some big work commitments.

My mum said she couldn’t wake him this morning and when he eventually came round, 90 mins later than usual, it was like he was sleep walking/talking for half an hour. He couldn’t get up and then when he did sit up she was talking to him and he didn’t seem to know what was going on. A friend happened to call round (someone they’ve known 40 years) and when my mum said “Dave has just dropped the drill back” my dad couldn’t remember who Dave was. She said an hour later he was back to normal and she suggested he get checked out with a GP or at least phone 111 but he refused, saying he was fine and he couldn’t remember the episode anyway.

Background, in case it’s relevant:
He had a valve replacement (open heart surgery) 2 years ago and his recovery was rough and long, he ended up in hospital for six weeks and got pneumonia and some other complications. Since then he’s also been treated for prostate cancer, and me and my mum think he’s showing signs of possible early dementia in terms of forgetfulness and irritability. He’s also being treated as pre-diabetic, watching his weight. He occasionally gets episodes where he says he’s losing his peripheral vision and feels dizzy, which can last a couple of hours and he says it might happen once or twice a month (but probably more and he’s trying to pretend he’s fine). He also gets carpel tunnel style pins and needles in his hands most days so struggles to tie his laces for example. Could these things all be related?

OP posts:
Dreamersandwishers · 30/11/2019 16:54

@alphasox Didn’t want to read and then ignore you, but I have no medical background.
I would guess that these could be related. I would suggest that your Mum try to contact his GP to discuss the symptoms - he has a lot going on there and probably best to get it checked out or at least get some reassurance.
Unfortunate timing for you all, but clearly you are a bit worried.

alphasox · 30/11/2019 17:10

Thank you @dreamersandwishers
I agree they need to see GP. It’s convincing the stubborn old guy! I’ll talk to my mum further.

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 30/11/2019 18:46

Oh dear. It.could.be related to his heart condition so it's best he gets it checked out. Is he safe driving?

MereDintofPandiculation · 01/12/2019 13:41

GP can't talk to anyone about his health without his permission, but they can listed. So write down everything you've noticed, then either write to the GP or go and see him, and suggest it would be useful if he could make an excuse to bring him in for a "check-up".

Dad might be terrified and taking the very reasonable view that if he ignores it strongly enough, it won't be there.

There's lots of things can affect mental state - drugs, vitamin deficiency, thyroid problems, infection (eg an otherwise symptom free urinary infection), "mini-stroke'.

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