Don’t know where to start - finding help

[2MuchAlready]

DM has dementia (Mid stage), DDad is ok but 83 so finding it all a struggle. I live a long haul flight away so visit when I can, but they have to manage for most of the time on their own.
DDad manages to get mum washed, dressed and fed, but never washes their clothes, doesn’t change the bed, I suspect he doesn’t make sure she’s brushed her teeth etc. I feel they need some help but I don’t know where to start.
There seem to be loads of companies offering care packages online but it looks so expensive. Is it just a question of ringing them all to find out what they offer? Are there any other options besides these care companies?

Depending on their circumstances, your parents may be eligible for some help from the local authority. They are both entitled to request a Needs Assessment from their local Adult Social Services - for your df that would be to assess his needs as a carer, and for your dm to assess her needs.
If deemed necessary (and with two 80+s, one with dementia I'd say it would be) a care package would be put in place and a financial assessment done to see if your parents have to pay for any/all of it.
The difficulty may be that your parents have to agree to this, so Social Services would want to have their consent before going ahead with assessments.

You could also contact their local Age UK to find out what other help there is in the area, such as day centres, and any services specifically for those with dementia and their carers.

Their gp surgery may have agencies they work with.
Local authority may have lists too.
Also your parents may be eligible for reduced council tax payments.

Forgot to mention also, if your mother is not already getting Attendance Allowance she may well be entitled to it. It is a non means-tested benefit for people who need help with everyday tasks such as getting up and washed and dressed, getting food ready, needing to be prompted to take medication etc. You can call the Attendance Allowance helpline to request a form.