The guilt of sis I do enough?

[Foslady]

Now on week 7 after the stroke.
Dad has declined mentally v badly and I can help feeling I should have questioned more, but the Dr’s are specialists, I know I should trust them........but I’m just consumed with the fear that I should have questioned more.
But if I had objected because I read an article would it have been worse for him?
I just feel if I had questioned more maybe he wouldn’t have declined so much. We have no idea how much is dementia (was showing early stages) and how much is delerium.
How the hell do I get through this one?
Mum has gone to pieces but denied it until recently and only now just says it’s acceptable for her to behave this way (won’t listen, become totally self absorbed to the point that she became more of an issue then dad and was taking more time and energy, hence more feelings of guilt re dads care.)
I feel as if I have let him down when he needed me more than ever

Please pm me if helpful - I have spent last year fighting to get help for my DDad with lots of great results
Sadly he died v recently but lots of positives n help along the way which massively helped

Nhs continuing care should fund everything but be aware you need to inform state pension and attendance allowance (if applicable) there was no private pension in our case but they may factor that in. CHC is not means tested so they shouldn't factor in private pensions. If in a nursing home with CHC you lost attendance allowance; if living at home with CHC you can keep attendance allowance. State pension shouldn't be affected.

I'm glad you managed to speak to someone and he had a much better day. That sounds much more positive.

Hopefully he will improve but it might be up and down. See how he gets on when he gets to the care home but don't give up hope of getting him home. Recovery is dependent on how their stroke has affected them but there are lots of activities that can help stroke patients. Impossible to predict but some people do make great recoveries.

Maybe post some issues he's having and I can give you a few suggestions? It might give your Mum some focus when she goes in to see him as she can practise/do some activities/play some games with him.

The stroke wasn’t too bad, affected the right hand side and the sense of touch mainly. His walking is coming back and also strength in this arm and grip is getting better.
The main problem is him going into delerium. I think most of this is because his brain has nothing to focus on which when he gets out of hospital and into a place of more stimulus it might help.
It’s further complicated though by his eye sight. He’s colour blind (but chromagen lens work for him but not brilliantly) but also only has about 25% sight and struggles to read before this, so any puzzles would have to accommodate this too.

Update.
Dad is moving into the nursing home today! Hopefully now we can start to see if we can progress further with him now he’s in a more homely environment which is what he needs now. The hospital have been lovely with him but he’s ready for the next stage.
Thank you so much even for all your help, support, advice and kindness getting us through to this point