Elderly mother being exploited

[Saratoga123]

I posted about this issue a while ago and received some very good advice. My mother has dementia and a couple of years ago, she was taken advantage of by a neighbour who befriended her to the tune of 25K. That was incredibly stressful in itself, but I have now realised that another neighbour is now doing exactly the same thing. The neighbout is asking mum for loans worth thousands of pounds and also getting my mum to do a large weekly shop for her and her family coming to over £150 a week. I have contacted the police and they say they can't prove any actual crime. I have lodged a safeguarding issue with socual services and met with them to discuss. Although I listed a dozen suspicious activities and I thought they would help, they have now spoken to my mum who has told them them that she thinks the neighbour is honest, so social services are backing off now. They seem to think that it is ok for her to take money from my mum in exchange for friendship and they actually said as much to me. We have also found out recently that none of the neighbour's family speak to her because she also stole money from them. I have spoken to my mum's bank and they are not helping because they say they can't stop this neighbour from coming into the bank with my mum and drawing put large sums. They are telling me it is up to my mum, despite her diminished responsibility. My mum was willing to move into sheltered accommodation until recently, but the neighbour persuaded her not to. Even if she did, the neighbour has told her me that she will locate her and visit her. It also concerns me that my mum has mentioned on several occasions that this neighbour has a very bad temper. I'm now at my wits end and feeling depressed about the situation. I feel like I've tried evrything and this this crook of a neighbour is always one step ahead of me and I just can't seem to protect my mum. Can anyone offer any advice?

Can you look into taking control of her money, if the well runs dry they will probably move on.
Is there any family member that could move in with her temporarily to make sure they aren't bullying her.

qazxc I've got third party access to her bank accounts, so I can see what is happening, but I don't think I can move money about etc. I know the neighbour will move on, but the money my mum has is for her care when she needs it. I couldn't forgive myself if I stood by and let her continue what she is doing. My mum only has a 1 bed flat where she is and we have no space and that's why I tried to get her into sheltered accommodation close to me

Have you got power of attorney? I'd be looking to get it if you don't already you say she is vulnerable can you take control of her accounts and give her an allocated amount? For what it's worth I'd get her moved closer to you ASAP and perhaps when you register her at the accommodation do so using your name so the neighbour can't trace her and also put a restriction to the warden regarding visitors?

Does your mum have mental capacity to make her own decisions, if you're not sure then her g.p. can arrange this. Do you have power of attorney over her finances, if she has capacity then ask her if she will do this and you can then have control over her money. If she lacks capacity then you apply to the public guardian to be her deputy I think but it's on their website. Keep records, install a camera in her house, contact the banks fraud department for advice, call Elder Abuse for advice and I would call wocial services again.

This may have changed in the last couple of years but power of attorney is when you mum understands what you are doing and signs the forms with you to say she agrees.
My mil was too far gone so with us it was deputyship, give you total control over money property and health decisions. It's a far bit of paperwork and it think it cost us about 500. Although once you have control you are allowed to take fees from your mums money.
Help is always at hand and they a ridged in what money goes where.
If you need any help pm me,

That is really shocking!

My ex husband found that people were going to his dad's house and demanding money for work they said they'd done for him - his dad had dementia and used to hand over his money. Some people really are scum. I'm amazed the police can't do anything about this, given your mum is a vulnerable woman.

Personally I'd transfer the bulk of her money to a separate bank account in her name, but wouldn't give her access to it unless she specifically asked for it. It sounds harsh but she has to be protected from thieves.

What's her flat situation, own or rent. I agree with pp that you move her near you asap, you can look at sheltered flats in your area, even if it's just rent for a while to get her away. Have her post redirected to your address, she is vulnerable and at risk of financial abuse. If she has quite a lot of money in the bank then use it to have her somewhere safe, even if it's a nice residential home for a while.

She will be able to sign a post forwarding form, or you do it online. Once you have her mail you can make an error in using her bank card so it is kept by the cash machine then new bank and pin is sent to you if she or you phone, as long as she is available to confirm she is happy for you to make call, you can assist her. Or at least this happens with a v deaf family member You can give her cash as she needs it.
Am not recommending this as a permanent solution but temporary to keep neighbour from taking more.
The bank staff rush to assist this family member (bank of Scotland) when shegoes to bank. I am amazed they are doing so little for your DM. But they know of her dementia. Docs did a Montreal test to assess dementia. They can be seen online - you can assess whether she might be able to get most questions right or not.
You could write to your MP with your concerns an interest from him/hermight suddenly wake up social services.

Thank you all for your advice. It is so sad that this seems to be a common thing where vulnerable people get taken advantage of. I tried to get power of attourney for my mum, but again the neighbour managed to convince her that myself and my sister were doing something sinister. This neighbour seems very well versed in what she is doing. She is on the dole and has four cars, including a jaguar and two classic cars. It makes me wonder who else she is doing it to. There are some avenues which people on this thread have mentioned which I haven't yet explored which I will now look into.

Fatshedra thanknyou for this advice. I tried this with the pin number, as my mum's statements are now sent to me. However, the neighbor went into the bank three times with my mum and managed to cancel my third party access to her account and the bank just let her do it. While I had no access to my mum's accounts the neighbout 'borrowed' thousands off my mum. I tell the bank (Lloyds bank) that this is happening but I feel like I am banging my head off a brick wall with them.

I would gently suggest (when there has been no discussion of neighbours) how it would be a good idea to give you power of arttorny before her dementia gets worse.
Then you can stop this.

Good tio about the MP. Thank you.

This is absolutely outrageous. Do you think a charity like Age UK might have some advice for you ?

Can your mother live with you for now?

I wonder if neighbour could be reported for benefit fraud since she has so much money coming in 🤔🤔

CloudPop I had an hour and a half meeting with Age UK and they are great with providing things like places for my mum to go etc, but even they can only just refer me back to social services and the police with regard to the serious issues. The first family got away with stealing the 25K, as my mum would have had to testify in court agains them and she isn't in good enough health to do that. I feel the more that I am pushing it with Social Services, the more they see me as an overbearing daughter. They don't seem to understand that vulnerable people often trust people that they shouldn't. In this case the con woman is very convincing....she had me convinced of her good intentions for a long time. It was only when a family member of hers told us that she had ripped off her own family for thousands that I saw what was happening. I would have my mum live with us but we are in a tiny flat with our child, as we are looking for a place to move to.

yes, I am considering reporting her for benefit fraut, but I dont want her reduced funds meaning that she takes more from my mum. I will wait until I can hopefully get my mum away from her.

I have a sister who lives in another part of the country. Can I ask if anyone on here, given the circumstances, thinks it would be unreasonablebto ask my sister to have my mum live with her for a while or unreasonable to uproot my mum?

So sorry to hear this, what an awful situation. Sorry I can't offer any help.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask your sister given how she's being severely exploited and taken advantage of where she is.

I think its an great idea if your sister could take mum In for a while if she can or have mum stay in a carehome for a few weeks, you can raise a cause for concern through her adult social services safeguarding team. I would definitely call her banks fraud line.

I wonder if the Court of Protection might have some advice, you can always call them.

If dm has dementia you need a poa before it progresses further. Can you suggest she transfers the bulk of her balance into a secure account so she has less available to "lend".

I would go into the bank with your Mum and get her to close the account and take the money as a cheque paid to her. Then take your Mum to another bank and open two joint accounts with both of you on them, have one account restricted so that money can only be withdrawn with both of your signatures. Give your Mum the details to one account (call it the everyday account) and keep all the money in the other restricted account (call it the investment account, or something). Then get her to pay all her money into the investment account and set up a direct deposit into the everyday account that will just cover her everyday expenses. This way if anyone wants to try and access alot of her money, then you will be needed to sign off on a withdrawal from her investment account.
Then register with the credit checking agencies to be notified if anyone applies for credit in her name, so no-one can persuade her to take a loan out.

I really feel for you OP. An elderly relative of mine was 'befriended' by his next door neighbours in the last year of his life and they managed to persuade him to leave his house to them in his will. Nasty pieces of work. He was a really clever, classy person but he got taken in by them and they were rough and rude. They claimed to be his carer's. It still sticks in my throat now, years later.

It's a particularly nasty vile individual that takes advantage of a vulnerable person.

Can you get some legal advice? Also it's concerning that your relative is mentioning their temper. Can you set up a secret camera in the house?