How do you get information from hospital?

[Piglet208]

I am hoping the wise owls of this board can give me some advice. My 87 year old dm who has dementia has been in hospital for over 2 weeks following a fall which resulted in a hip fracture. I last managed to speak to her doctor, who phoned me, where she updated that there was a problem with my mum's kidney function and she asked me about DNR. Since then I have had trouble getting information about the results of a scan or about her deteriorating condition. I ask when I visit and the nurses say they can't tell me much. There is never a doctor available. They advise phoning but when I do they say they can't give out info over the phone. I work full time and I am trying to visit as often as I can. I work as a teacher and it is difficult to make phone calls during the day now term has started. I really just want an honest update so I know what to do. How do I get one?

You arrange a meeting with the doctor and probably take time off work to do so. You'll discuss DNR and probably end of life care depending what her needs are.

Thanks @ruddynorah for replying. I'm going in tomorrow and have arranged to sit with the nurse. I will ask her if a meeting can be arranged with the doctor. Hopefully I will get a better responses than the usual dismissive one.

Unfortunately that's often the case when it's an older person. I've had it with both my grandparents. Also, are you clear on who the actual nurses are as opposed to the support staff? Make sure it's a nurse you're meeting with.

Try phoning the consultant's secretary to make a phone appointment. The nurse will not be able to make an appointment with the doctor for you, as she/ he will not be party to their non ward based responsibilities.

Find out what time ward rounds are and be there for it. It's the only way I've ever got anything when my elderly mum has been in hospital

Hanging around for ward rounds is a pretty poor option - seriously you're better off making a phone appointment

Find out what consultant she's under, and phone their secretary to make an appointment with them. Bring a list of your concerns and questions.

Have a word with the PALs team as well. They can help arrange appointments.

Hi, nurse here. Best way is to call the hospital main number and ask to be put through to the consultants secretary. Ask her to either arrange a face to face appointment or telephone appointment. Hope you get to speak to someone soon.

it may be easier for the doctors to phone you although coordinating that might be difficult. You need to be clear with the ward that you need to talk to a doctor for an update and ask how to best arranged that.

Thanks everyone. I'll have a chat with the nurse tomorrow (definitely the nurse not HCA). I'll see what she recommends and if no real joy I will try PALs.

Set up a password in person and they can ask you for that over the phone and talk openly. We have done that before.

As others have said, you will need to make an appointment to be certain of speaking to the Dr.

You may be lucky to catch her when you visit, but it’s by no means certain she’ll have much time to talk properly.

I know doctors are busy but it does seem that they avoid taking to relatives. I was at the hospital 6 hours a day following my mother’s stroke. Even though I asked every day I was just ignored. She took 6 weeks to pass away and only in the last few days did a wonderful doctor make time for me.

If you haven't already, make sure that it is on her notes that all medical staff can talk to you - either by her permission if she is capable of signing a letter giving permission, or via Power of Attorney if you already have it. This should make it easier to get info over the phone, which is helpful for day to day progress.

In my experience you will need to be persistent (but polite obv), sometimes very persistent. We found that all medical staff we spoke to were optimistic and reassuring, until we finally got to the consultant, who told us the truth, although even he had to be pushed. You may find, even at that level, that you have to make it obvious that you are concerned that your DM might die, and actually use the word, to free them to talk to you.

Check out Dr Kathryn Mannix on Twitter or elsewhere for advice on this sort of thing and the way to phrase your questions.

Finally, as always, PALS is your backstop. Their job is to stop you complaining and you can therefore use them to your advantage.

Thanks all. I had to wait 2 hours for the nurse to have time for me as she was so busy. She was fab. She went through the notes with me and answered each question. Just as well as I had no idea about the various tests they have run or the results. We ran out of time to set up a password but at least I have some info now. I think 8 may as well give up on speaking with an actual doc.