IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere ·
03/09/2019 17:03
My mum is 83 and with very limited mobility. I am her carer and do everything bar get her dressed/undressed and to the toilet. Those things she manages herself.
My dad died from a very aggressive form of cancer 7 years ago (2 weeks from diagnosis until he died) and mum has been very depressed ever since.
She has always had a real fear of going to the doctor, hates going to the hospital. She is terrified that she might have cancer. It has taken over 15 years to get her to the optician because she was afraid she might have a bleed on her brain.
She had gastric issues for 18 months or so and refused to see the doctor then at the end of May she started with what she said was a tummy bug - strangely it coincided with my husband and I going away for the first time in 6 years and I thought it was probably anxiety on her part.
Unlike a bug it didn't get better and she started vomiting blood and passing blood in her stools. The GP came a couple of times and took a stool sample to test for a stomach ulcer.
She had been in bed for 10 days, unable to keep anything down and suddenly started screaming in pain. We called the ambulance which eventually arrived (after 4 hours!) with her becoming less coherent and crying in pain.
As soon as she made it to hospital she had scans and xrays and was diagnosed with sepsis, a perforated duodenum and critically low potassium. I was asked if I wanted to sign a "Do not resuscitate" note and I was told by the surgeon that she had less than 5 % chance of surviving the op.
Amazingly she pulled through and after 3 weeks in hospital she came home.
She has continued to make excellent progress, eating well and regaining enough mobility to get to and from the bathroom and attend to her personal care.
However she has started getting flashbacks , remembering hearing things from her time in A&E, seeing me cry when they asked about "Do not resuscitate" and various other things. She gets very shaky/nervous at bed time and really would like me to stay with her until she settles down at night but I have a family at home to look after so it's not really practical.
Do you think I should be encouraging her to see a doctor? She hates wasting the doctors time but I think she could benefit from talking to someone other than family.