In laws. He's not your father.

[Futuremumtobe]

I asked my husband what we should get his father for Father's Day and he said, Why should you care, he's not your father? I never had a father in my life and I never got to meet him and he is now dead. He said the same thing when I asked him about Mother's Day. My family are always really welcoming and would never say something like that. His family didn't even bother telling me what to call them after we got married so it's always awkward when I say hello. We've been married for a year. I don't feel comfortable around his family.

Your dh is the problem.

You knew he was like this before you married him. Did you think things would magically change?

His family didn't even bother telling me what to call them after we got married so it's always awkward when I say hello
Don't you just call them by their names?

I had the opposite problem, my ex H expected me to buy gifts for his parents and I would often say 'they're not my mum/dad'. I would have been delighted if he'd taken any interest whatsoever in buying my parents gifts.

Oh god I wish I felt no obligation to worry about MIL’s birthday or mother’s day.
Your DH sounds rude and unfriendly though! If you actively want to be part of their family then he should try keep that door open for you

I’m the gift buyer in our house because I love it. Your DH sounds rude. My DH is grateful when I take over.

What did you expect them to say when you got married? If DH’s parents had come and told me to call them mum and dad, I’d have been a bit

Mm ... three choices here.

1. Take the lead. Tell your in-laws you want to call them X and Y and try to bring them to your way of thinking then at least you know you have it a go
2. Have it out with your DH and tell him you feel uncomfortable and ask him how together you can resolve. How he reacts may lead you to other ideas.
3. Adopt another older couple or older person that you do like and you do feel comfortable around and develop a warm friendship with them. I know lots of people who have found a second mother and also a substitute grandpa. Lots of people would love you to be around them I bet and develop a two way friendship

Thanks Fortysix. Nice to see someone has some wisdom in their replies.

Nice to see someone has some wisdom in their replies. Did you mean to be so dismissive of the other replies?