Dementia

[lavenderandthyme]

I have an 82 year old mother who I am quite concerned about. She can seem fine one day and then the following week can seem like she's in a dream world. She doesn't connect with me and seems completely focused on the past or thoughts in her head, to the point I feel she hardly notices I am there. She will suddenly make a very hurtful remark without realising it. Mind you, she has always done that. I am worried about her. She seems disordered and confused and depressed. I asked her if the doctor had tested her for vitamin deficiencies, but she says she is fine and eats well. She really doesn't. My siblings are in denial and won't listen.
What in others experience are the signs of dementia, or is she just depressed?

these are what healthline say are the signs of dementia. im afraid that i don't have much experience with it myself, but do you think you could speak to your gp and express your concern? perhaps they will be able to advise you and invite her in for a check up? all the best x

Speak to GP again. My mum's dementia started by forgetting appointments, arguing with us that we hadn't told her something( we had repeatedly).
The GP will make her an appointment at a memory clinic to be assessed if they are concerned about dementia.
Good luck

If you can get her vitamin d level checked I would, or even just buy a vitamin d oral spray supplement which is very easy to take, low D can look very much like dementia and it’s very common

I have only just Power of Attorney after a protracted battle, and am not sure what to do about talking to her GP which is a different one to mine. I am worried if she finds out she will be angry I've gone behind her back. I just don't think she's well and she seems depressed.

amazon.co.uk/Better-You-Dlux-Vitamin-Spray/dp/B00AWNART4/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=spray+vitamin+d&qid=1566670155&s=gateway&sr=8-5]]
This is the spray I mentioned - it tastes minty, its high dose, so if she takes it use it up to get her levels up, then get the lower one for maintenance.
List of possible symptoms
Getting Sick or Infected Often. Share on Pinterest. ...
Fatigue and Tiredness. Feeling tired can have many causes, and vitamin D deficiency may be one of them. ...
Bone and Back Pain. ...
Depression. ...
Impaired Wound Healing. ...
Bone Loss. ...
Hair Loss. ...
Muscle Pain.

My mum recently died after suffering dementia for a few years. Its such a tragic disease. Good luck op

lavenderandthyme
You need to take a copy of the power of attorney to her doctors, bank etc.
You should be able to get an appointment with the GP and discuss your concerns with them. Then you could take your mum and the GP will know what to ask, without your mum getting upset with you.

My mums symptoms started with paranoia - convinced the man in the next flat was murdering someone etc, that went on for a few years, she didn't get conventionally forgetful until very late, she would take her tablets okay, but be very unguarded with what she said to people , so forgot how to be polite and just spoke her mind, which was upsetting, like her filter stopped working

Get your mum checked for a uti, can make folk confused.

Thanks for tips about VIT D. This is my worry too. She doesn't get much sun as she had pre cancerous changes in her skin and has to use high factor sunscreen.

Sounds like the early stages to me. Speak to her gp and try to get all the household affairs in order eg a second person on the bank account, lasting power of attorney (there's 2 types) because if she deteriorates rapidly you will be too late. There's so many kinds of dementia and while some have a steady rate of decline, others (like vascular) is more stepped so they can suddenly be incapable.

It's really hard so it's common to be in denial, we found a family conference call was the answer, children and grandchildren and then a welfare messenger group.

My MiL became very old very quickly. She has a number of conditions and she was forgetting to take her meds. Once my FiL realised and started making sure she took them she perked up for a while but it was clear her memory was failing. We'd go to a restaurant and would forget what the soup of the day was, or what she decided to order. She also couldn't remember how to use the cooker.

That was about a year ago and she seems to be going downhill fast. The only thing that helped recently was holding her new great granddaughter. Apparently she remembered her for a few days but then my FiL said something about her and she asked who he was talking about.

So that's how my MiLs dementia (probably vascular) manifests. Not forgetting the falls.

I have been given power of attorney with my siblings (who do nothing and don't want to listen). I've also been sorting out her affairs so I understand what is going on. It's a strain though, and it is really taking its toll. I find myself in the position where I am the only person doing anything or taking any real interest. I don't particularly get on with her either which doesn't help.
She has actually fallen twice lately, is that also a sign? Some days she seems fine and others she seems very vacant.

lavenderandthyme
My mum fell a couple of timed before being diagnosed.
One time I went to take her to the doctors, she was sitting in the livingroom with a black eye. She had no clue how she got it.

Oh dear