Feel so helpless

[Dollygirl2008]

Try to keep it short - elderly mother, very frail and tiny anyway, fell last week and broke her right shoulder and hip. Had a nightmare few days because the hospital didn't spot the break in the hip right away and sent her home

Long story short - she was finally taken to a community hospital where she can rest, recover and rehabilitate with proper care and therapy before coming home. Big relief. However she doesn't want to be there and is being quite awful - a very selfish part of her and I can only describe it as the behaviour or a petulant child. I can't imagine how awful it must be for her, but she is being so horrible to my sister and I, crying, saying she's not staying, being quite nasty actually and doesn't want to see anyone etc and I think she's being a nuisance for the staff and other residents

I know she has to stay there - my sister and I can't care for her whilst she's like this, but I wondered if anyone has any advice on how to handle her behaviour and attitude - should we sympathise? Be firm? I just don't know

Sympathise and comfort her. Repeat phrases which don't arc her up. 'Not too long and you'll be home!"

"you're getting better all the time...you look much better today"

And so on.

Ask her how she thinks she will manage at home and who she expects to care for her. Your hospital will have a REACH team who can provide support for her going home, if you’re concerned get in touch with adult social services.

Been in similar - oh look at that bird out there (distraction).

Will we watch TV?

Similar to dealing with a tantruming toddler. Not easy x

Sympathise and be firm. Acknowledge that you understand she hates it there, tell her how she can work to get home - by cooperating with physio, being as active as they'll let her, etc - and what you are doing to make it possible. Isolate yourself emotionally - treat her as a client not a mother - she's in pain, doesn't feel comfortable with her surroundings, so may well hit out at those she loves and say some hurtful things - you need to get into a place where you recognise it's her pain and insecurity talking, and not be hurt by what she says.

Before you got to see her research today's excuse for leaving (I need to go and cook dinner, I've got a meeting the other side of town) and don't hesitate to leave if it's getting too much. If you're going to be in any fit state to support her, you first have to look after yourself.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I saw her earlier and she seemed slightly more accepting. I'm worried because info on holiday next week, so my sister will be dealing with her alone. Will pass on the coping strategies!