Dementia and Visiting Grandchildren

[WWYD2016]

Hiya, I would really appreciate your opinions.
My mother who lives in a nursing home has recently had a Dementia diagnosis, it came as no surprise.
For at least the last year or more, when my mother was lucid, I had repeatedly threatened not to bring my children, her grandchildren to visit if she continued to burden them with her ails and perceived injustices.
I tried many times to explain they do not have the capacity to help her and their visits with her leave them feeling sad, angry and frustrated.
I her daughter should be the one she moans to, her grandchildren are for pleasure and fun.
I'd keep them away, she'd promise to behave, I'd bring them, she'd, as I call it perform; cry, complain, implore them to help her.
Role on to her deteriorated present, I'm still having the same conversations but now I realise it's a waste of time.
Over the last few months my visits with mom have been great, I go along with whatever she says whether it makes sense or not as it really makes for a happy jolly time, I felt confident yay, I'll bring the kids next visit.
As soon as she saw them I witnessed the transition, her body sagged, her mouth dropped and her eyes teared up, obviously her grandchildren immediately went to comfort her and she proceeded to tell them she was being raped daily by the female and male carers. I was horrified, my 10, 13 & 16 year old were visibly shocked into silence.
I took them away within 30 minutes and explained to them it wasn't true it's her mind blah, blah blah.
My 16 year old understand but I'm not convinced the younger 2 truly do.
It's been a month and I have not pressured them to visit her, though my 16 year old has once, independently.
Coincidentally she has never mentioned the rape again, not once.
I do not know whether I am doing the right thing or not. On one hand her issues are not theirs, she adores them and I am withholding them, on the other hand is it right they have a living grandmother but never see her, hey, I'll be an old lady one day myself, I don't want them to have the notion it'd be okay to put me in a home and never visit.
What do you think?

That sounds so hard. I don’t have any wisdom to add but wanted to send you🌺.

Others will confirm that discussing sexual topics candidly and making accusations and innuendo is not too unusual. My DM went through a phase telling anyone who visited, including my teenage kids, circa 17 and 15, that my DF was having sex across the road with teenage boys in his car. ( He was actually watching television downstairs and had given up his driver’s licence.)
I wouldn’t stop your kids visiting but I’d try always to be in ear shot and leave straight away if it’s obvious she’s in accusatory mood. We joked about it as a family but even now my youngest (19) finds it pretty hideous when she strays into that territory. But her avid topics change and once you become more used to dealing with her type of dementia you will be find ways to divert her or your youngsters - quick, granny needs a glass of water

My mother was diagnosed with mixed dementia a couple of years ago, unfortunately sexual accusations is common with dementia. My mother accuses every male who passes her that they are touching her up and last week she accused my 85 year old father who is waiting for a hip replacement that he is always demanding sex, she would have never talked like that before.
My 15 year old daughter refuses to visit now and I accept her decision.