Dad has had a stroke - I’m very sad

[KavvLar]

I posted before about 91 year old Dad who had been on hunger strike. He had a week out of hospital and back eating, then yesterday he had a stroke.

He is now in the stroke unit in the next town. Still being uncooperative and sporadically refusing treatment. I visited today and he can't speak, he was just making noises. He's taken his hearing aids out now so he can't hear either. We had to write everything down. I managed to talk him into taking some medication but I can see a long road ahead with a lot of conflict if he carries on.

I'm not sure why I'm posting other than for a bit of a hand hold. He is a nightmare but he's my dad and I can't bear to see him like this. I can't stop crying.

Hand holding OP I know there's nothing that can make it any better, but thinking of you.

Thank you cheeseislife8 I appreciate it. It's so sad. He's like a shell of himself.

Being uncooperative could be part of the stroke if its not like him. Speech wise make sure he gets seen by speech therapy on the ward (I'm a speech therapist working on this area myself) Theres lots of things they could help with. Try and persuade him to put his hearing aids in if possible if he will let you as that wont be helping. If you can maybe leave a notebook and pen with him fo help him and the nurses / doctors etc communicate with him better. I keep my fingers crossed for him and you.

Thank you. He is always uncooperative and is generally manipulative and selfish, and I think that's what I'm finding difficult - I'm desperately sad to see him in this position but it doesn't change his fundamental personality.

I'm torn. My usual boundary tactics and self preservation techniques when dealing with him are all off because I feel awful for him. But then I feel awful for me and my little family that I've worked so hard to protect from his whims and cruel moods.

Hand hold from me too. Sounds like he is in the best place.
No wisdom but🌺🌺