Is anyone dealing with a main family carer who complains about all their responsibilities (to the point of upsetting DGeriatric) but refuses help from other family who are entirely capable because they desperately need to control everything?
Currently being driven around the bend by this. Main carer is desperately in need of a holiday but won't go and leave me or anyone else in charge. Structural building work needs doing but he's doing a DIY bodge job instead of getting builders in and moaning about having to do it himself (money isn't the issue). Got called out to an emergency with DGeriatric while in the middle of a household task; I continued it to help out and was midway through when he returned and told me to stop it immediately (it was the sort of task no one can screw up, so not about competence).
I've ended up scrubbing the carer's kitchen, partly because it's like an episode of How Clean Is Your House (genuinely vile, and he cooks me food there when I visit) and partly for my own sanity, but he's moaning about that too. I've been scrubbing for hours, gone through multiple bottles of cleaning fluid and I haven't even got inside the cupboards yet.
He's bad enough now while he's fit and well; I dread to think what he'll be like in 20 years when he's the geriatric. He doesn't want to do it all himself but he won't accept help of any substance 