Young distant relative living with very elderly person?

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

The idea has been raised within the family of a 20-something relative who is going through something of a career change and can't afford to keep renting in the city, but wants to stay there.

Very elderly relative (physically frail, only mildly forgetful) lives alone in the same city and has a spare room, which we're thinking of offering rent free (relative doesn't need the money) on the condition that she
a) keeps an eye on the relative and tells closer family if anything needs doing
b) sorts out her own WiFi connection, if desired (relative has no use for one)
c) tidies up after herself and possibly does some light housework like filling and emptying the dishwasher; no personal care required.

I've no doubt she's been well brought up (we know the parents better than the offspring) so won't trash the place or anything, and I have no doubt that the elderly relative would benefit from the company as she's naturally gregarious and I think she's a bit lonely - for this reason alone I think it could work well.

I'm very familiar with having lodgers in myself, but obviously this is a very different set up. Has anyone got any experience of this sort of thing / has any thoughts on what we need to consider?

Have you actually asked the elderly relative first?! It sounds like you are presenting it as a done deal by offering a rent free room in a house that is not yours.

What about bills and food? House rules on guests or boyfriends? What happens if they fall out: will there be an agreed eviction process in place?

The idea has been (sensibly) presented firstly to the relative's next of kin / main carer. They're going to thrash out some details and see if it could work before presenting the idea to the elderly relative.

Reason being that we don't want to present an idea that's clearly going to be a disaster to her at all - hence thinking things through in advance. She'll likely say yes (she's forever inviting all and sundry to visit anyway) but won't think of potential problems or the need for rules by herself.

The loss of single person council tax discount is a good one to think of - thank you. Water isn't metered and given that the heating seems to be on 11 months of the year anyway, I can't see there being a material difference in the fuel bills.

We're very much acting in the relative's best interest and won't go ahead unless she's keen, but we need to do some of the more detailed thinking on her behalf!

My nephew stayed with my FIL for a while as he was job hunting and it suited both parties. It was only an interim measure as we were looking for a care home for FIL nearer us. Once we got that sorted nephew headed home (he lives in different country to us). It worked really well and both enjoyed the experience. Not sure how it would have worked out in the longer term though.

Will this 20 year old even want to live with a very elderly distant relative?

@UCO (love the name by the way) glad to hear it worked out well for your family!

@Church the idea has come from the other side of the family; I was only dimly aware that she was living in the same city. Certainly not our idea! A quick look on spareroom shows nearby bedrooms going for £500-750pcm inc bills - while those homes are undoubtedly nicer, and cheaper areas are available, from what I gather it's a choice between this or moving back in to live with her retired parents on the other side of the country as she can't afford her own rent at the moment.

I would expect to pay something, emptying the dishwasher is part of living with someone, I would expect them to do all their own housework, shopping, cleaning, cooking. Is the 20yo working, I think living rent free is a bit cheeky.

Who benefits more from this? a 20 y.o. living rent free and only having to do occasional housework and paying for their own wifi that they should be doing anyway. What will the relative gain? a bit of company when the younger is there, presumably she will be at work and out socialising. Surely it has to come from the older person, it's their home, their choice if they want someone else there. I would have asked them directly, not go and start planning without their knowledge, my mum would be furious if all this had been discussed in advance. Maybe it could work out, maybe not.

This sort of thing , young person living with elderly person, is being used with some success elsewhere, particularly Netherlands - see second two examples in this link:
internationalsocialhousing.org/2017/05/29/learning-best-practices-in-housing-for-the-elderly-from-the-dutch/