What to do about mums funeral

[Caucasianchalkcircles]

My 90 year old mum sadly died yesterday. She'd had dementia for the last 10 years and lived in a rest home for 7 of those after DF passed away.
Up until the diagnosis they'd led a fairly active social life and had a wide circle of long standing friends. They were also close to my fathers 3 siblings and regularly met up. Once my mum began displaying obvious symptoms of her
illness they pretty much withdrew from life, I suspect because DF wanted to shield mum from potential embarrassment. He didn't even tell his siblings about her diagnosis (they only found out because he was admitted urgently to hospital and she rang them repeatedly) even though they would have undoubtedly have been sympathetic.
Once DM went in to care, all family and friends forgot about her, not even a christmas card or a quick note. Admittedly many of their friends were frail and elderly themselves and didn't live that close but 2 of dad's siblings were 10 years plus younger and pretty fit and active. She'd known them 50 odd years. One of them would ring occasionally to enquire about her but that ceased a few years ago. I'm an only child so essentially was her only visitor for all that time (all her own siblings died years ago ).
I'd pretty much accepted that her funeral would be an extremely small gathering, just myself, dp and my 2 children. I'm happy with this tbh. Yesterday I facebooked a cousin just to ask her to let aunts and uncles know (I don't have their numbers) but stressed I didn't expect them to attend her funeral due to distance etc. Apparently they now want to know funeral arrangements.
I feel in two minds about this as I'd psyched myself up for a very low key event. How do I tell them nicely I'd rather they not come ? They apparently asked for my number and that's fine, I 'd like to chat to them and maybe keep in contact but feel awkward. Any advice ?

Let them know the details, they want to pay their respects to the woman she was. No need to organise anything for afterwards however you might want to think ahead of a local pub/restaurant you could go to after (everyone pays their own way) if you want to chat after - it can be quite a good way of celebrating the life.

Funerals aren’t about the dead, they are about the living and how they deal with loss. The last thing a grieving child needs is hoards of strangers turning up and having to be accommodated when they have been conspicuous by their absence in any form for years. The nearest and dearest should do whatever they feel comfortable with. Whatever helps them cope with the loss.The dead don’t care who turns up.

What AtSea said on P1

I recently supported a friend who lost her husband 8 years after being diagnosed with dementia.
She said "there won't be many there" "We won;t have a tea afterwards" etc at first and we persuaded her that there would, and it would be a good thing to.
She was so pleased she listened and that she changed her mind. The crem was absolutely packed (literally standing in the aisles). People came from all walks of their lives. They had been alive and lovely people for nearly 80 years before the dementia took hold - people wanted to celebrate his life and the way he had influenced them or supported them or been a friend to them.
The service celebrated his life and the tea and a snadwich afterwards gave people chance to a)reminisce and b) show his widow how loved he was.
It was incredibly therapeutic for her.