For accurate advice I would consult the AGEUK website. This is so clear and gives the latest figures. If there is anything that is not clear or unique to your situation you can phone them. They are very kind and helpful. So kind, in fact, that I ended up sobbing in gratitude down the phone.
This is what I remember , but cannot vouch for absolute accuracy.
Each person is assessed separately and can have about £23000 in saving before you have to pay. If they go into care then any srare pension that they get are used but Only half of private pension is. I would check that with AGEUK. This is because the spouce still has bills to pay.
If your Dad goes into care and your mum has a diagnosis then she should get free or reduced community charge, check with your LA. Are they getting Attendance Allowance. This will stop for your dad if he goes into care but may increase for your mum to the higher rate. It is worth checking.
The assessment should be done in hospital and some LAs will pay for 6 weeks respite care. Respite care should Include PT. I have found the PTs very helpful in fighting your case for nursing care. They cannot speak for you but will give you the information you need to make a case.
Don’t be afraid to, ask for a case meeting, so that all professionals involved can be heard. Also don’t be fobbed off by those trying to free up a bed. Using the phrase, “He is a vulnerable adult and ‘they’ need to assure you that he is being released into a safe environment”, is a great phrase to use. (Told to me by Mum’s GP)
There is an elderly parents thread on here which is an absolute life saver. Full of kind and knowledgeable people going through the same thing.
If you are not already doing so, get their post redirected to you. that way you can deal with appointments and business matters. It is not unknown for hospitals to phone Alzheimer’s patients to tell them of a change of appointment and then act surprised when they show up on the wrong day.