Not sure where to start?

[KingArthurrr]

It has become increasingly apparent that DM (90) cannot cope living independently. She is registered blind as a side-effect of badly managed diabetes, and has had a few falls. The last fall resulted in her being admitted to hospital. She got a council-funded care package when she was discharged home but that is about to end. I live 300 miles away, and trying to find out what is going on is very hard. I also have a DC with conplex needs which means I just cannot rush down there are sort stuff out.

DM forgets to eat or can't be bothered, so her diabetes is unstable. She is mentally competent (other when having effects of the diabetes). She has about 30K savings, and owns her own house which is a bit of a state - think hoarding. She is sort of giving up on everything, just sitting in the chair all day. No friends left.

So, I just don't know what to do or who to ask. I assume she's had some sort of assessment - I've not seen it.

Should she stay in her home with carers, sell up and move into sheltered accommodation, with carers visiting, go into a care home, or does her diabetes and blindness mean she needs nursing care too? Would she qualify for the Continuing Care funding, or will she have to self-fund until her savings are run down? She does not want to sell her house, but she'd have to, wouldn't she?

Finally, where/ who do I go to for unbiased advice on all this? Bearing in mind I have limited time and emotional resources myself? I want her to be safe, and it feels like she's giving up in a quiet way. This is so hard . Thank you for any help.

Hello King Arthur. A good place to start for advice would be age uk, or the carers association.
Is she getting attendance allowance etc? Our county council website has useful links on it. Do you have power of attourney in place? Can be done with on line forms.
Sorry you have all this to deal with.

You could speak to her g.p. just to air your concerns, also speak to her local social services adult team. If she has council funded care she will be in their system. Do you know who put this care in place, she must have had an assessment of her health needs and financial needs for this to be set up. If it was set up in hospital you could ask to speak to their societal work team and find out what was organised. You can ask if she had a chc assessment in hospital and a capacity assessment, they will ask if you have power of attorney and there is only so much info they will give you if you don't have it. A lot will depend on what she wishes to do and if she understands what help she needs, the best place to start would be her g.p. and ask if they have a tracker nurse who follow up people when they are discharged from hospital.