Sure this has been done before

[halloweennamechanger]

How do you deal with caring for a sick or elderly parent who was not there for you during your childhood and was quite frankly, abusive? I'm now stuck with them and I have 4 small children.

Providing lots of help now and having battled to build my own life I'm back looking after a parent who was extremely selfish, manipulative and Abusive but has -since becoming ill- turned over a new leaf.

I'm almost on the verge of a mental breakdown. Siblings went NC. I live in the same village.

Don't want therapy because it means they have the control, but worries about extreme feelings of hatred towards someone I can't help but care for deeply.

I don’t understand your comment about not wanting therapy ‘because it means they have the control’. The therapist? The elderly parent?

Yes I meant the parent. So the feeling that I am to have therapy because of them.

Why are you stuck with them?

Can you give some me more detail OP.
Why are you left with all the care ?
Can you contact their GP or Health Visitor to explain your situation and get advice .

No one has to care for anyone. You are entitled to say you can do x y z and no more. So maybe one visit a week; and
Sorting medication or hospital trips. You having a break down isn’t going help you- your kids- or them. Either they pay for care outright or get help via SS and pay towards that out of benefits/pension.