What do I need to ask?

[Vallahalagonebutnotforgotten]

Brief outline My mother is 85 and is becoming anxious and needs some support at home. She is mobile and on good days totally capable but there are more and more bad days when she needs someone to check in on her,make sure she has food in the house etc.

We have contacted a caring service who are coming to see Mum and me tomorrow.

As this is the first time for us are then any specific questions or things I should be asking of the organisation

Have contacted social services? They would come out and do an assessment for you. They arranged for my parents to have grab rails fitted and give advice on care.

Thanks Puddelchen we have not yet contacted social services - Mum is adamant that she does not need any help. but I will try and work on this with her.

I feel for you, it is a worrying time when our parents get old and need help, especially if you do not live near them yourself. Apart from Social Services, Age Concern are very helpful and can advise you. Your local GP may be able to organise an occupational therapist to visit and advise too. There is a lot of help available which you will learn about as you go on. Look into Attendance Allowance too to help with costs of any care you pay for privately.

Thanks Puddelchen this is a new area for us so your advice is really helpful.

Off to research more

Sometimes it's worth using the line of "you've paid your taxes all your life, you've never got anything back, this is your due". Old people seem to like that approach. Especially if you mention other people she knows who have help? "Mary has it, and Betty has it - why should you miss out?" It worked on MIL.

Also, suggest the care needs assessment is simply a routine check on older people to confirm that they are coping and don't need to move to a care home (this was MIL's worst nightmare!).