Mentioning a delicate problem

[Asmallrole]

My 83 year old mother is in the process of being diagnosed with dementia and although still lives independantly in a flat, I am doing more and more for her, including her laundry. It is becoming apparent that she has some degree of urinary incontinence, even if just little leaks. I took her for a hospital investigation yesterday and in the warm waiting room there was a distinct odour. I dont know how to broach this. I struggle to persuade her to shower once a week as it is as she claims she has a thorough strip wash every day but I dont believe her.

It's difficult but I think you will have to say something, how about, sorry mum but I don't want to sound nasty but sometimes when we get a bit older we can leak a little bit, I don't want you to get sore down below, would you let me help you. She may have a urine infection, that can cause smelly wee and incontinence and is really common. I would encourage her to wear small incontinence pads or pull ups, she may find it easier to speak to the practice nurse, they may have an incontinence service where she could get pads and pads for the bed from. Would she agree to a carer coming in to help with a shower, it can be difficult to keep yourself clean especially if she's a bit frail, arthritic or scared of falling. I would also buy a mattress protector.