memory loss

[IamAporcupine]

my DM is 86. She is doing relatively ok, no major illness really.

I live in a different country, so we email/text/whatsup/phone every day and I see her every couple of months or so.
I've noticed that (understandably) she tends to forget things now and gets confused. She always says that is very scared of losing her memory so I am not sure how to deal with it.
What do people do? Just pretend it is the first time that a subject is mentioned?

bump

Do you mean your DM is on a loop and repeats herself?
Or do you think she has a mild awareness that her own memory is failing? Also does she live by herself?

DMiL (85) will repeat a choice fact four times in a 30 minute phone conversation but otherwise is doing well. She however is supported locally by two daughters. We gloss over the fact she is repeating herself.

When my own DM started to make less sense on the phone and I pointed it out to her she got pretty shirty and argumentative. Phone calls became very one sided as she literally did all the talking. I didn't argue with her but occasionally my dad would phone when she was asleep and update me.

If you or her are worried she can mention this to her GP. There are standardised tests to find out if it is within normal limits age related memory loss or linked to a dementia. GP’s can also refer to memory clinics for further testing if needed.

@Rockfrock - no, she does not repeat herself. I mean she does but not in the same conversation. She is aware that her memory is failing and feels very upset about it. I suppose I should just gloss over it as you say

@Abitlost2015 - I am not particularly worried, but I think she is. She sometimes asks me if she's already said something, or if I think her memory is getting bad

If your DM is bringing her memory loss to your attention then maybe I would talk gently to her about it and say, yes, you've noticed maybe a little but point out to her all the other things she is doing positively. On the phone it must be quite difficult even if you are using the camera option. She may be feeling quite frightened so I suspect she is looking for reassurance. Remind her how good it is that you are able to talk every day and how wonderful technology is and your willingness and pleasure to hear from her.

If you haven't POA, now is the time to get that moving.

Sorry Rockfrock I've only just seen your post
Good advice thanks, I will do that

Sorry what you mean by POA?

Power of Attorney, hope things are as stable as they can be ...

Oh, yes - thanks