Mum getting anxious/controlling over what I do.

[Chosenone]

I'll try to keep this shirt. DM is only 70 but due to mobility issues, partial blindness and diabetes she seems really frail and 'elderly' compared to my dad. She's always been an over protective parent. Fussed and panicked over giving us freedom as pre teens etc. However, she seems to have really ramped up lately. Since she retired she seems to want constant contact of what I'm doing etc.
The latest example just seems bonkers to me. I said I was going to walk round with our dog tomorrow around midday ish. I said I'd nip through a small woodland and let the dog have a run off lead. This wood is in between residential areas, near a kids park and would tale you less than 10 mins to walk from one side to the other. She then begged me not to go that way in case O was murdered! I said that was highly unlikely and is been fine. She got really upset and wanted me to promise I wouldn't go that way... I said I'd statistically be more likely to get run over on the main road! What s going on and do I stick to my guns over this and lots of similar issues.

Sounds like her world is shrinking and she is afraid- trying to find something to worry about outside herself.
I wouldn’t tell her things she might worry about- my dm does like specific times so I say i’ll Be there at x and do so which can reduce the anxiety....

Thank you thesandwich I guess that's the rub of it. She's rang up today panicking about the dog and the heat. I think I will keep details to a minimum and maybe bite my tongue a bit more

My mum was a bit like this- she once tried to make me promise not to use a level crossing over the railway but go a different route that added 30 miles to my daily commute. I am afraid I lied to her......

Oh god Millicentf its so irrational. Maybe fibs and white lies are the way forward!

I honestly think that lying is the way forward. My mother was incredibly sensible in most ways, but had a couple of fears that really upset her. The level crossing was one (although I suppose that wasn’t wildly irrational because someone was killed on it not long before we moved here). And dd’s diet. For some reason she got it into her head that dd didn’t eat properly. Fortunately dad was old enough to understand, and she adored her grandma, so we made sure that she ate a huge incredibly healthy meal whenever we were at her house. I still remember how happy mum looked when she saw dd eating......

Definitely white lies are the way forward. I think this happens to a lot of anxious parents when they become infirm. It's panic.

You'll achieve nothing but more panic unless you soothe and fib and deflect.

Thank you. Sooth, fib and deflect. New mantra