Anyone moved mum in at 70?

[AnnieHoo]

My mum is a fit 70yr old and I'd love to move her in with us, build an extension maybe a bedroom ensuite with living space with entry to our kitchen living area and her own outside porch area so friends can visit...... it's happening! How can we make it work well?

We've considered this but but were warned off my friends that have done it.

No, but there are lots of questions here.

Firstly everyone one is different. My mum is 72 and still works 3 days a week. She’s not “elderly” at all. If I suggested she moved in with us she’d think I was mad. Does she want to move in with you?

Do you get on?

Why do you want her to move in, and how does she feel about it?

Is she making s financial contribution And if she does what is the consequence if she falls ill have you agreed future care plan.

Other thoughts are agreed contact and integration seems over the top but boundaries for your marriage and family are important

I moved my mum in. She's now been moved to a nursing home.
If you have had any issues with her in childhood and are going to look after her out of FOG, it will be a nightmare.

My friend did this. Her DM's health is now failing, needs to be cared for and friend is off work sick with stress and depression as the set up has led to certain expectations. Be cautious.

My mum is currently fit and healthy and that is why we want to do this now with as much independence as possible for her, her own space and ocntinuinf to work. She works for a third sector care provider and loves it, loves meeting friends for coffee and walking dog and being part of cancer charity committee in spare time. Since my granny died she has expressed that she is lonely and would like to live near us.... ideally with us but no in our pockets... we get on very well and my husband gets on very well with her... we have lots of space and live in a beautiful setting. I saw my mother care for her mother and it taught me that that is what I want to do for mine...I want to cherish her

My sister did this with our dm. It actually worked really well for about 15 years until dm died aged 85. They were very much blended in each other’s lives and it worked for them. It would’ve have worked with me as I love my own space too much, and my dc are a lot younger and were all consuming at the time this would have coincided.