My mother aged 74, has always put Vodka before me, since she left when I was 10yrs old. I have stuck by her through 4 marriages, two husbands dying from alcohol abuse, one other on off long term relationship and a whole host of drinking friends in and out of her house. These friends are always 'wonderful people, so close to me, friends for life, we understand each other' etc etc but the friend-ships never last and there is always some mystery around what really happened. In the meantime I have got on with my life, moved away, married , had a child and re-trained and changed my job. I have always visited, always turned a blind-eye to the lies, fabrications, string of semi-alcoholic people she hangs around with. This christmas I have snapped. I have been wound up to the point of no return about how wonderful her latest party partner is. Then this person lets her down, disappears and she's all over me again. Then this person apparently turns back up and she's all best friends with them again telling me how wonderful the extended family are and how close she is to them all (lies). I was meant to be visiting her tomorrow but after a series of texts with me begging her to stop all this winding up and lies and change her lifestyle and her telling me I treat her like sh&t, I am now not going. She recently had a hip replacement and I could not get time off to visit. She refused any help offered by the hospital and not one of these so called friends came any where near her, one of them apparently was taking time off work to sleep at her house then mysteriously didn't bother. So now it is all my fault and she is upset I didn't go even though I offered to go the week before as I could have got off then(it was half term and I work in a nursery) she said she didn't want me there as I would 'mess her flat up' I can't take any more. I know once she is well enough she will be back out on the booze being everyone's best friend and I will once again be expected to be an adoring spectator....