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Elderly parents

elderly mum

3 replies

angieblue · 14/12/2017 10:47

Would like some advice for my work colleague who is in despair. Having spent most of this week drying her tears and feeding her choccy biscuits I have told her I will look for ways to try and help her.
Her mum moved back from Spain 4 years ago and came to live with her. She used to be a fit and healthy lady with tons of energy, she was an artist and had her own pottery business in Spain but wanted to move back to England.
Since coming to live with my friend she has stopped everything including mobility. My friend works full time with me but before she comes to work at 9 she has showered her mum sorted her lunch and her 3 dogs (who also came to live with her) she gets home from work at 6 in the evening and then starts dinner and putting her mum to bed etc etc.
She is demanding, never says a please or a thank you, just moans about absolutely everything. My friend has sorted a companion for a few hours twice a week for her that she really enjoys.
What is sad is listening to my friend this morning whose relationship with her mum is hanging by a thread.
We talked about a residential home for her mum but I also wondered if there is any respite out there that my friend could pay for, say every fortnight? Her mum could go into a home for 4/5 days, have company and actually might really enjoy it.
Any advice welcome as its costing me a fortune in choccy biscuits

OP posts:
specialsubject · 14/12/2017 14:06

Assuming mum is compos mentis, time she grew up. Dogs have to go ( when do they get walked? ) and it is time to accept that she needs a care home.

thesandwich · 14/12/2017 21:47

Has she involved social services? They can help and assess her needs and also what help is available. Your friend can also have a carers assessment. Age uk could offer advice as well.

retirednow · 15/12/2017 22:31

Yes do call social services for advice if she will let you. What about paying for a private carer if she doesn't qualify for any financial assistance. Care homes do take people for short stays, this often happens when family go on holiday etc. Just look at local homes, read the cqc reports, get her to visit a few and negotiate a price with the Carehome manager. If she needs help she should apply for attendance allowance and your friend apply for carers allowance.

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