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Elderly parents

Grandad dying, how to tell my DD

2 replies

user263781638 · 10/11/2017 21:51

Wednesday we got the phone call to say he had maybe hours to live 😭 we all rushed down to be with him and haven’t left since.
He hasn’t communicated at all no hand squeeze, no opening of the eyes, nothing. This will be the 4th day he hasn’t ate or drank.
We are really shocked he’s still here and expected him to have passed early hours of yesterday so I just expected I would come home and tell my DD(8) that he was no longer with us, now she’s asking lots of questions and wanting to see him and I just don’t know what to do, all she knows is ‘he’s really not very well’ my DH has been dropping off our youngest DD (1) while he’s been going to work and I feel awful that she’s been seeing him and my other DD hasn’t but I’m worried if she does see him she’ll have a massive shock and won’t be able to cope with it, she’s very sensitive in general and they’re very close.
He’s in a care home which she’s visited plenty of times before.

OP posts:
PopGoesTheWeaz · 10/11/2017 22:13

Im no expert, but if they are very close and she has asked, I think you need to take him to see her. Tell her that you think he may die, and its all very sad and you want her to say goodbye, just in case.

I have a very sensitive DS and he visited my gran when she was dying when he was 8. He was much more resilient than I would have ever imagined and I think i helped with the actual passing, that he had seen her at her worse.

Flowers
user263781638 · 11/11/2017 10:44

Thank you, she’s coming up today, I just hope I’m doing the right thing, I suppose you’ll never know what’s best in these situations.

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