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Elderly parents

Help me think of a gift for my lovely exhausted carer mum

11 replies

Triangularsquare · 15/10/2017 20:25

Mum's in her 70s and a full time carer for my dad. She's had a rough year (aren't they all as a carer, but this one's been a real toughie). She's absolutely exhausted. Her birthday's coming up and I'd like to get her something great but it's hard. She rarely has a chance to go out, she's lost the energy for her hobbies. I'd like to get something that feels like a luxury and that requires no effort on her part. Time off is the gift she really needs and I try to offer that as much as possible but she's very reluctant to let go of her responsibilities, even for short periods

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washingmachinefastwash · 15/10/2017 20:26

Could you get her a 1 hour massage at a salon or a spa day for a day.

LineysRun · 15/10/2017 20:30

I want a robot vacuum cleaner but they're sooooo expensive.

Failing that, yeah, a massage would be lovely.

SingaSong12 · 15/10/2017 20:33

Does she have a radio/music system? Could you get her a digital or internet radio if it will work and she hasn’t one because there is a wider range of stations. Depending on how she listens could you put together a playlist or burn a CD of favourite songs. If she is mostly with your father could you include some they both like?

Triangularsquare · 15/10/2017 20:35

Massage s a lovely idea. I've done it a few times before so was thinking something different would be nice. But perhaps if its what she needs it would be appreciated all the same. A robot hoover would be amazing! But yeah, maybe a bit out of my price range. Will go investigate though...

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Doreah · 15/10/2017 20:36

Could you arrange for someone else to come and care for your dad for the day and the two of you have a lovely girly spa day? She may feel a little happier to leave her responsibilities if she knows our dad will be taken care of and she has someone to go with.
Alternatively, how about an afternoon cream tea?
If she really feels that she can't go out for a few hours how about you buy all the stuff for afternoon tea, finger sandwiches, scones, clotted cream, jam, little cakes and throw her a tea party at home. You could book someone to come round to the house and do a home spa for the afernoon too.

Triangularsquare · 15/10/2017 20:38

They're pretty well set for music systems! Some music to listen to is a great thought though. Nothing like music to lift the spirits a bit.

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Triangularsquare · 15/10/2017 20:40

A home spa afternoon could be great. Off to have a look at treatwell.
These are brilliant ideas, thank you hive mind of mumsnet!

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drspouse · 15/10/2017 20:51

We got my late MIL, who wasn't able to go out much, a lovely cashmere cardigan.

Pascall · 15/10/2017 20:55

A fancy mattress topper or new bedlinen?

Triangularsquare · 15/10/2017 21:03

Overflowing with ideas now. Will have to save some up for ChristmasSmile

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Needmoresleep · 15/10/2017 21:43

Spotify premium subscription. She can also use it to play old stuff to her mum.

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