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Elderly parents

Son abusing Elderly Mother (90+ years of age)

3 replies

kingfisher17 · 17/08/2017 11:02

Hi we need your help.
Its a long history of a very angry man who has alienated almost every one around him over the years and a mum who has stood by him through everything.
For over 15+ years her son has been trying to get money out of his mum through loan application, then a mortgage, then Equity Release schemes, then bullying her to selling her house. For various reasons these schemes have all failed (the house has been her home for well over 60 years)
The bullying takes the form of phone calls. When her son calls her he screams at her so loudly that you can hear him up stairs. Once he frightened her so much she spent the night in the garden shed in March in case he came back. The telephone calls and horrible texts are day and night even in early hours of the morning trying to wear her down. Even so she regularly travels by bus which takes over an hour to see him, he does not reciprocate even though he knows she needs help with odd jobs.
The latest scheme of his is that a flat has been rented in her name through an agent. The flat is close to him and he claims she has been also been registered for council tax with the local council and there is a bill waiting to be paid.
He is telling her that she now owes money and if she doesn't pay she will be taken to court so she has to move. He has also said the onus is with her to sort it out with the agent.
Her home will then presumably be rented but ultimately her home will be sold.
She is absolutely adamant that she has not signed anything or made any form of agreement to rent the flat.
All though in her 90s this lady is very active - still tending her garden mowing the lawn shopping etc - independent and very with it however the constant stress is wearing her down and recently when she visited him just over a week ago he tried to take her house keys to stop her going home, when she refused to hand them over he grabbed her handbag in the ensuing struggle he broke it and pushed her away so violently that she fell over injuring her back.
She has refused to go to the doctors but for over a week she has been in pain unable to breath deeply, cough or sneeze because of real pain in her left front chest, lifting her left arm has been very painful and an area on her left shoulder blade has also been swollen and painful. Luckily she had a spare set of house keys so she left and went home
We are at our wits end she will never forgive us if we report him and she is convinced she can handle this herself but the situation is deteriorating and we are so worried please can anyone advise us what we can do and has he broken the law?

OP posts:
Ledehe · 17/08/2017 11:10

Phone the police. He is commuting fraud, stealing from her and has been physically violet to her. Police are well aware of elder abuse

junebirthdaygirl · 17/08/2017 14:26

He must be reported. Is there an age action group ( have that in lreland) or some such group who could become involved. Or her Public health nurse. This is elderly abuse which happens a lot so there are systems in place.

MebeingMe · 17/08/2017 14:50

I think that it's important that she is convinced to go and see a doctor, who will more than likely refer her for an X-ray as she may have fractured ribs, and also maybe another injury to her shoulder.
From a legal point of view he has assaulted her , so yes he has broke the law. The doctor will ask how her injuries happened which will hopefully prompt her to explain what truly happened.
I know how difficult and complex these situations can be but I think morally and for your own peace of mind you have to report him, especially if she doesn't disclose the true events to the doctor. Personally I couldn't live with myself if something else was to happen, which resulted in further injury, and I did nothing to prevent it.
This is a safeguarding issue, there are organisations and agencies that can provide support and advice for you all.

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