I really don't know where to turn to for advice. Sorry if this is long.
My mother - 65- is extremely dominant and controlling to the point that my sisters and I grew up with noconfidence. She was physically abusive and mentally tortourous and controlling. My father was often away from home and did little to stop this. From the outside no one would know - lovely house, always welcoming others, cheery and giving. But she would get so stressed out at all of the guests she would invite that she would beat lumps out of us and call us stupid.
Anyway we have managed grow up escape and have our own lives.
My father is 85 and has a chronic and life limiting illness - not asbestos but similar. She has always shouted at him and called him stupid. This time visiting (I live hundred s of miles away) she has been shouting in his face calling him deaf and dumb, for sitting on his bum, for being lazy, screaming at time. She has told him to make his own lunch, she won't feed him, that he is dirty. I can't get across in writing the tone and discontent i her voice. She stays up will 1am in the morning face timing her friends all over the world but will literally walk over my dad.
I've tried to take her to the doctor - she says the depression is my fault/ my sisters fault/ starts to shriek. My dad has done the same but is now just a shell of himself and literally sits huddled up.
I don't know what to do as my dad cannot live on his own, will not come to live with me or my sister, and likes his own home. I have a job that's elsewhere and a teenage DD and moving isn't easy
Any advice would be appreciated