Advice please on what happens about going to a care home.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

This is about my Nan, my sisters and I look after her since our Mum died six years ago.

She has dementia and is in her late 90s. She previously had a plan with the social services where they have me a budget to pay a carer for a few hours a work and they also paid for her to go to a day care social centre for 3 days a week.
She was living on her own in a small bungalow that she's lived in for 35 years, its housing association.

I was using the money to pay my eldest sister to do all her transport, shopping, d household admin and care, she was going in everyday and making her meals and showering her a few times a week and then Nan was ok to put herself to bed and get dressed/undressed and make tea etc.

However Nan fell in the Night and shattered her hip and after 3 operations they finally just gave her a whole new one. She's been in a rehabilitation centre (that is also a long term residential home) in between operations but she was treated awfully, pulled around roughly and told she was disgusting when she couldn't get to the bathroom and wet herself after her first operation because she's deemed ok to make decisions they asked her (without anyone present) if she wanted to press charges and she said no.

Then she went back to hospital for the hip replacement and is now in another rehab centre where she's relearnt to walk with a frame, her dementia has got worse though and the hospital don't feel she is safe to go home and live alone anymore and we agree that it isn't safe for her, especially at night.

So it looks like she's going going into a residential care home, she has no savings so can't pay privately so I assume there will be a government one she will go to?
I'm worried they'll put her back in the first home where she was abused or put her somewhere far away so we can't visit as much and she'll become isolated.

She doesn't have many years left and is terrified of going into a home as it is but I want to make sure someone spends some time with her everyday.

Can anyone advise me what to expect when we go to the current rehab centre for the meeting to deal with it all, will we get a house where she goes and will they (whoever decided) take into account her previous bad experience in the first home?

Bumping for you. I'm afraid I don't know the answers but didn't want your thread to go unanswered.

One ray of sunshine in OP's post.

If she has the mental capacity not to press charges, she can grant Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare to a trusted family member. Do it, or you will find that should dementia kick in and she is deemed to have lost mental capacity, then social services legally assume control of her, and you have no actual say in her welfare. You will be in a Charlie Guard situation, and social services will side with any care home, because that how it works.

Google Power of Attorney and Mumsnet, for more on this. Also, in any complaint procedure, public bodies gleefully thumb their nose at you if you do not have Power of Attorney, saying they don't have to investigate, they will pull any trick in the book, trust me, and that is just one of them. It isn't quite true, but you will find they decide what is true or not, not you.

Definitely get power of attorney if you can.

Also, your gran have a social worker? They will be able to guide you re care homes.

Also, look at the Age Uk website - www.ageuk.org.uk/home-and-care/care-homes/

It has loads of info.

If you are paying for care you can choose which home you go to, but if the state will be paying for your nan I'm not sure how much choice she will have. Might be a case of where there is a space.

Visit the care homes close to you you'd like her to go to - what are they like? Are the staff friendly? Does the home smell of wee? How do staff treat the old folk?

Also find a home that has a specific dementia ward, and that will be able to look after your nan until she dies. Not all have this capacity.