Won't shower- is this normal?

[Boobalu]

My dad now aged 91 has never 'loved water'. As a child I only recall him having a bath on a weekend. However, now he won't have a shower at all. They have had a new bathroom fitted with an walk-in shower. he'd need help - maybe a chair to sit on or mum to help steady him- but he could manage.
He's not had a shower of any kind for about 3 years and only then under sufferance.

The house is spotless and Mum showers.

I live a long way from them but when I visit I do find it a bit yucky that the flannel he uses for 'an all over wash' is lying around the only washbasin.

I can't do anything to change him, but wondered if this aversion to washing properly is something that happens to elderly men?

I think showering can be really scary - its slippery, you are doing several things at once while trying to stand or sit on a slippery surface, and the sensation of the water on your head can be weird. My mum (who has dementia) started refusing to shower years ago, even when her dementia wasn't that bad and has only had baths since, with the aid of a bath lift and a carer.

My exh's grandmother once announced "when you are over 80 you don't need to have a bath". Once she hit 80 she washed herself with a flannel standing up in the bathroom.

Do you think he has some weird idea about this too?

My mum is the same!

She's in her mid-80s and is terrified of slipping so has a strip wash and uses wipes. She has a walk-in shower with a fold-down seat rather than a bath but is scared of tripping on the little step to get in or slipping once she's in there.

When my dad was alive, he carried on bathing well into his 90s so I guess everyone is different.

It's probably generational as well; in his day people would've had a (shared water) bath once a week.
As long as he's having a good flannel wash every day he should be fine, as can't imagine he's getting that sweaty/dirty. Does he change his clothes every day ?

Just thought, maybe he's doing it this way as it's something he can do himself independently? That's really important to elderly people in my experience.

I never ever knew my grandmother to have a bath or a shower. She was French ( no sniggering in the back row) and coquette. She did a strip wash every day and never smelt bad. I would never have dared question her.

Lots of elderly people decide only to have 'strip washes' as baths and showers can be tricky if you are a bit off on your feet. its pretty effective if done regularly. You can get 'perching stools' to sit at the sink safely to do it. Alternatively there are shower chairs you can buy if he does want a shower sitting down (although sounds like he doesn't) but ultimately a cheap plastic garden chair does the same job.

personally I think its about balance. I had a shower this morning and as the weather was so hot I felt a bit dizzy. I then thought if I collapsed in the shower what would happen.
if I was 90 I might not bother