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Elderly parents

My Dad died on Monday

28 replies

whataboutbob · 05/01/2017 11:00

Dear all- I wanted to let you know my dad died 3 days ago, in hospital after a short spell of sepsis probably brought on by aspirating food into his lungs. It's been quite a roller coaster, from seeing him on the 23rd where he was his usual self (albeit with Alzheimers) to receiving that phone call, going to the hospital, coming and going between there and home before realising he wouldn't survive. I'm in a kind of truce stage now, death certificate has not been released (I've been warned I'll probably have to chase it) so can't really do anything.
So far, this feels very different from my mum's death, she was so much younger (54) and hadn't been ill, I was devastated. I am sad, but mostly sad that his last 5 years were spent being diminished and tormented by dementia. He was a bright, sociable, adventurous guy (lived in 15 different countries in his lifetime) before it took its hold on him.
Thanks to everyone on this board for your support especially needmoresleep, mirabelle tree in her previous incarnation, CMOT, Sandwich and many more. In due time i think I'll put up a "10 things which were useful in helping me cope and manage with my Dad's dementia" type of post.
All my thoughts to everyone on the difficult journey of being there for our parent with dementia.

OP posts:
Blossomdeary · 18/02/2017 18:02

Sorry to hear this - my mother died under similar circumstances - I do now remember just teh good bits, as I hope you will in time.

Needmoresleep · 18/02/2017 20:12

Bob, I am glad the funeral went well and hope that you now get a chance to catch up with family time and with your own ambitions. You should be proud of yourself.

Also a very personal thank you for your help and friendship over the past four years. We started as a band of five with PostBellumBugsy and SugarPlumtree dropping off first, now you, leaving just me and CMOT. Others have joined since, who are very welcome. The journey is difficult enough even with great company and support.

thesandwich · 18/02/2017 21:21

Oh bob sounds like you did him proud. A good send off- and I am glad the memories of the real him are returning as the recent trauma fades.
As nms says now time for you and your family.
Hope the legal stuff is getting dirtied too- you need a break and time to recover. Take care.

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