My Fil has dementia and a very bad leg. He has had quite a few falls recently and been in hospital. We arranged for him to return home to the house he owns and lives in with my Bil. Bill is out all day at work and Fil now has 3 carers a day. Bil does some things for him such as shopping and keeps an eye on him in the evening. Bil has what I feel are (undiagnosed) MH problems and can't cope with a lot of responsibility. If there is a problem that isn't that urgent he won't do anything about it. Dh however, resents the fact that Bil doesn't do much despite living in the house and not paying any bills or rent. This makes things awkward between us and Bil although normally we get on well, also I get frustrated by Dh and Bil not sorting things out as they leave things for each other to do, and nothing gets done for ages.
Today the carer called and said they think he is becoming incontinent and he needs to be assessed by the GP. He has also had several falls in the last fortnight, since coming out of hospital.
The problem is, as I said Bil lives in the house and if Fil went into a home I think the house would have to be sold to pay for care. This would leave Bil homeless and in a difficult situation, also he is not very good at coping so he may struggle. Another reason is that Fil would probably not like being in a home, however if he can't be cared for at home then he may get used to a nice home. Even though the carers seem nice it is difficult arranging things like GP visits and I feel his food is not very good. In a nursing home these problems would be dealt with without them needing to contact us which would be much easier.
Do you think Fil should go into a home and if so can anyone tell.me how you go about arranging it?