What to do when the weather is bad?

[Helenluvsrob]

Hmm I cam see the winter being difficult

Dad in care home (dementia, poor mobility, just being 91!). All pretty good as I've posted before and taking him out is good (for a wheel around and a tea and cake).

I haven't yet found a " good" formula for staying in though and I'm struggling to find " out" places for bad weather . You can't sit and chat really as his hearing and lack of language skills get in the way. I can deliver a monologue about how the kids are even getting to what the gerbils been up to but that doesn't last long! Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think it helps me or him to let him get into all his slightly paranoid rambles that happen at times (partly because he moves thing /plays with the TV settings etc and forgets but also because there are wandery light fingered people in the home too!)

Yesterday I took some fudge, a CD and selection of old photos thinking this will pass an hour.... Not a success at all! He liked the music and fudge ( but didn't eat it as he kept forgetting it !!) but he clearly can't really see the photos, claims not to remember mum (which might be the kindest way for his brain to process the current reality of Him in a home and just me /my kids seeing him but makes me very sad). And only even seem to remember that his oldest mate "just buggered off without even saying bye after his wife died" so lovely photos of the best foreign holiday they had ( probably) just made him cross.

I tried colouring alongside him but really he couldn't do it- he has no concept of colour and just does it all one colour ( fair enough) and needs constant prompting to so anything. Interestingly he's go a visual field neglect thing going on as the bottom left quarter was uncoloured even with " don't forget that leaf" sort of things .

Maybe the answer is the cinema and let him sleep as he did Fri when I took Dd2 to see " Bill" or the art gallery... lots!

Hi OP, it's so lovely to see you have a real interest to care for your pupa, we own nursing homes and I see so many lonely elderly, it's very sad ??, anyway how about a museum of his interest? Or a sealife centre where you can be up and close with the sea life if he likes animals? X

ta candle. A museum is unlikely to mean a lot to him, though we've done the local National Trust stuff and he sort of likes it . sea life centre is a possibility though (yawn, I'm still traumatised by spending every day at the Maryport aquarium with very small kids on a wet cumbrian holiday!)

My late mother had dementia & she really enjoyed 'going out for a drive' - especially if we could go somewhere a bit scenic.

Most dementia patients love going for a drive as they get some stimulation but there is no threat to them & they don't have to interact with anyone or anything.

Garden centres are good for a wheel round - lots of things to witter about, warm, dry, and then a cafe stop.

I don't know where you are but:

Matinee theatres - music ones maybe
Museums - indoor equivalent of being wheeled around even if he doesn't think much of actual museum
Afternoon tea
Cinema is fine, change of scenery even if he falls asleep
Simple Board games? Something the younger kids usually play is easier to see and not have to remember rules. Like Hungary hippos . Although noisy!
Can you take the children and let them chat about their day more. They could read school book to him.

I'll have to remember just a drive is ok too - that's a good plan. We can always find a pub / cafe.
Theatre coming up to Xmas could work.
Art the kids are big - 2 at uni and a 6th former they've been fab over the holidays but very busy now so it really falls to me ( dh if he's not run of his feet too)
Thanks all

I would agree with cafe/pub. My mother likes watching children and dogs so a cafe by the beach is good. She can make observations (often too loudly - "look at those two men kissing") without having to converse. A coffee at the golf club also works as she can watch people teeing off, and we also go to the garden centre. When she was in a convalescent home she really enjoyed a trip to the pub. People with dementia are effectively infantalised and a trip to a pub is reassuringly grown up.

Our trips have to be short, less than an hour. She does not want to use toilets as she does not want to get lost. Restaurants are out. Plus menus and choices are difficult.

Dad still enjoys the local library. The librarians know he has dementia and don't turn a hair at his sometimes odd behaviour. It is a tranquil space and he has favourite books he flips through. I take him there when I visit, or his carers take him.

I second the idea of a garden centre.

Or perhaps a shopping mall (indoors, lots of space, plenty to look at)

NT always good as they can be relied on to have good loos, but it's often a bit of a toss up whether the mobility impaired can actually get around historic sites. Bigger things, like aviation or transport museums usually have acres of indoors space.

Or a tea dance, even if he doesn't dance it's a nice thing to watch.

I would keep pondering this, as from our experience, this becomes a real issue (not saying it's not now) when you can no longer get the person into a car. DMIL is in this state now, she has a wheelchair but you'd have to lift her into the car and this causes leaks because she's incontinent and she panics when you lift her and it's a hellish mess.

We've even sat in a shelter in a local park looking out at the rain, as she's in a quaint little town and wheelchair access to shops / cafes is bumpy and difficult at best.

I will be looking at whether they have a cinema though, as that's a good one we hadn't thought of. We have done the local town museum, which had no link to her, but looking around at old tin baths or "front room" set-ups was surprisingly good.