also on relationships

[iamsufferingnow]

advice please.

*my sister is 75, has bowel cancer, colostomy, ileostomy, one half functioning kidney, pressure sore through to the bone on her back and ulcers on her feet. also has difficulty swallowing even water, let alone eating.
needless to say she is a tiny little body managing to survive.

*her husband is in care with dementia.
*they have no children of family close by...I live hours away, and am a pensioner myself.

*but mentally is totally functioning.

she has been deemed a candidate for rehabilitation in a London hospital.

*she has been in and out of hospital for many years, and now is frail and vulnerable.
*there have been pain management issues, in that the pain relief is "on request" but she simply lies there in terrible pain. although it was actually prescribed in the previous hospital.

*sunday night she rang me crying in pain, begging for help.
I rang the ward and they agreed to give her oromorph.

*should she even be in "rehab" as there is little to no possibility of returning home?
*a nursing home was applied to, but rejected her as "too complex needs"
*she cried what am I supposed to do, where can I go?"

help please, what can I do to make her end of life calm and peaceful?

*she just goes back to the first hospital when she needs hydrating, then shipped back to the "rehab" one.

Hello, it sounds like a very difficult situation. With the information you provide, I would say it seems inappropriate for her to be sent for rehabilitation while she has an open pressure sore. She needs skilled nursing care to close the wound before being able to participate in rehab, which is not something you can do passively. JUst wondering when you last saw her- is it possible her pressure area is much better and she is ready to move on from the ward? Hospitals have a duty to try for non residential forms of care on discharge. ie they will not usually discharge straight to a care home/nursing home unless it is absolutely clear that prognosis is very short. Unless a relative (ideally with power of attorney) comes along and clearly states that going home is not an option, or the person themselves asks to go into residential care and is self funding, hospitals are likely to try and promote return home, maybe eventually with a re enablement package. If you strongly feel your sister will never be able to live independently, then you or another relative need to make contact with the ward and put your concerns forward. Hope that helps a little.

I have been battling since june for care for my sister. three times she has been sent to rehabilitation, only to be returned to the previous hospital for hydration, then sent back for rehab, even though she is so weak, hasn't eaten a full, proper meal for months, only ice cream and jelly.
finally at rehab they said she is in the wrong place and needs palliative care and mcmilllan nurses.
yesterday, she was admitted back to a&e for resuscitation.
the doctors said they didn't accept that palliative care and McMillan nurses were appropriate, against the advice from the previous hospital. they asked what we wanted, we replied pain relief is the immediate request.
she is in excrutiating pain, the grimaces on her face show this.
she has begged me for pain relief.
but where she is now, it's iv drip, with antibiotics, and oromorph.she definitely won't be going home at all, a nursing home refused her.
just what happens now?

Pain control is the 1st priority, then healing the pressure sore, I would think.
Maybe requesting a multidisciplinary meeting with involved health care plans for discharge after these issues are sorted would be a way forward. Also, many wards now have discharge nurses so if there is one that would be a good person to speak to.
Hospitals have a duty to ensure safe discharges.

Sorry that should have read "with involved health care professionals to discuss plans for discharge"

three times now my sister has been rushed back to the previous hospital from the rehabilitation hospital.
once stabilised, a painful and confusing time for her...she trembles and the fear in her eyes is tragic.....then she is put on a ward, so far she has been on approximately 8/9 since june, 3 times transferred to another hospital then back.

I just don't know what to do today.

I am exhausted myself, it can be a 3/4 hour trip each way.

I have no idea where she will be each time I get there.
will she be moved again?

she is a frail and vulnerable adult, so desperately ill with cancer, yet no one knows what to do with her.

in the last hospital I managed to contact the borough director, who could have helped....he wanted to....but now sister has been transferred out of the directors hospital, he can't help.
I need help myself, but no one cares at all.