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Elderly parents

Please answer my question

6 replies

ilovethewinter · 06/08/2015 13:47

Hi,my father has recently been discharged from hospital and is having carers visit to help him,he is bed bound.The thing is Im a qualified nurse and I am thinking of going part time in my regular nursing job,so I can care for him.For some reason Gp and carers etc are not too keen on me doing this,does anyone know why this would be as I'm quite cross about it as obviously I'm trained and the carers are not,plus I know him better obviously!I haven't asked myself because I rather upset about the situation.Thanks for reading and any advice you might have.

OP posts:
ppeatfruit · 06/08/2015 15:33

I would do it and not ask. IIWM maybe chat to your GP and tell him what you're going to and ask if he would like to help you.

BoboChic · 06/08/2015 15:37

Carers and the GP cannot prevent you from being in your father's home when the carers are there. Your father might prefer to maintain certain boundaries, however, and have carers for personal care and household chores. If I were you I would keep a close eye on your father but maintain your father-daughter relationship.

Duckstar · 06/08/2015 15:48

Lots of reasons, but I am sure none are to do with your competence or concerns about care you would give.

It maybe your Father has told them he doesn't want them to be your carer. My parents, I know, would hate to have a family member giving intimitate care. They've both said they are going in a Home if they need care. Maybe he's worried about you stalling your career.

If you take over care maybe they are concerned about lack of respite etc.

Worried too emotionally draining on you.

Talk to the GP, but I would imagine this concern is coming from a good place.

ilovethewinter · 06/08/2015 20:15

Thank you for your replies.The other thing that is so annoying is that my parents are paying for this so called care,when the people aren't actually doing much at all and my dad always wants or needs rearranging afterwards anyway!

OP posts:
BoboChic · 06/08/2015 20:44

Carers are a variable quantity and they do need instructions (management). If your father's carers aren't meeting his needs you can have a word with them if he doesn't feel up to it.

ppeatfruit · 07/08/2015 14:45

BoboChicThat's a very polite way of putting it. MIL chose one of her own carers who ripped her off badly (this was a 'friend'). We were around but were tipped off by the bank who told us that this friend was trying to cash cheques that weren't hers. Though MIL didn't want us to do the personal care. In hindsight we should've been more involved earlier.

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