Coping with reunion

[Shellypow54]

My first husband walked out on our three children when they were all under5 He left the country and I managed without a penny from him to this day. I eventually remarried and now the kids have grandkids and we are nanny and grandad. My youngest daughter has got in touch with her father through facebook and he is sending her a ticket for her and her daughter to visit. Obviously is a trip abroad and an adventure. I have said nothing negative to her and in fact tried to be pleased and have wished her well but anytime she mentions it I feel sick and jealous and hurt, and I am most frightened that the little girl will come back calling him and his new wife nanny or grandad. I don't mean to be petty but he doesn't deserve them! How do I show support with all out approval ?
Parenting · 10 mins ago

You poor thing, what a undeserving rat. There is however very little that you can do or say in the circumstances. What ever you say to your DD about him, is going to sound like sour grapes. You have to let her make her own mind up.
Unfortunately your DD feels excited about meeting her biological Father. You can understand that, can't you? It may go very badly or it may go well.
The only thing you can do is vent on here, or to close friends. We will always comfort you and be sympathetic.

Of course it would be lovely if you could forgive and forget ( I would b struggle) as you don't want negative thoughts about him impinging on your present day life, and also eating into time that could be spent being happy. He obviously isn't worth it.
You sound as though you have done a brilliant job and your children are not stupid. He has inflicted such hurt on your DD? It is going to take some forgiving on her part. She is not really going to see much of him is she?

I can't see your GC relating to him either when he lives thousands of miles away.
Let's hope your DD is going to ask him some awkward questions as to why he never kept in touch or supported her.
Lots of hugs. Xx