Hypochondriac father-Pls help advise

[Blakey3166]

Hi all,
Am posting here in the hope someone maybe has expericienced the same.

Looking at the threads this is a very minor worry of mine compared to what others are dealing with.
My father is only 63, still working full time although alledges he will retire soon( he's not working for the money)
He has had a pain in his side which has been getting worse in pain and was being investigated.he had ct scan an blood tests and after saw a consultant who can see nothing wrong except the POSSIBILITY of a small hernia.my dad is not happy with this diagnosis and is now awaiting an endoscopy (at his request) to find out.
My issue lies in that whilst awaiting the results he had convinced himself and wAs trying to convince us (his wife, my brother and sister and me) that he had pancreatic cancer and was about to die.
He wouldn't even watch first episode of a series as stated he probably won't see the end.
My issue is that in the past few weeks he is constantly talking about "oh the pain" . Yet seems to appear quite sprightly when doing something he wants.
I've had to constantly check on him by text as my step mother is away the week, as he asked me to in case he dies.the first night of her being away he ended up having numbness in top of thigh and groin and I forced him to a & é, because he worried me- after 3 hrs the diagnosis was think it's a hernia.
My problem is that it's wearing me down mentally (sounds selfish I know) ive humoured it and given empathy and understanding but am now beginning to tire of it all. Am sure he may be in pain but can a small hernia really cause that much pain for you to believe you won't see another day or refrain from doing things "oh the pain". I think this is a form of him scared of getting older and attention seeking.
I have to add he's always been dramatic, when I was younger you never knew which dad - happy/sad/angry you were coming home to- maybe even bordered on bipolar.and nobody is ever right only my dad and will fall out with everyone until they give in to him being right!
I know this is a long/rambly post, an I haven't managed to squeeze even half the other examples I could give but I would greatly appricieate any advice on how I can deal with this going forward

I've got one of these. My DF specialises in telling you he's got cancer and that my DM is about to keel over. Very unpleasant manipulative behaviour. Sympathies, it's often terrifying and most of all wearing.

Treat him like a bad-tempered toddler - humour him. Tell the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Even if he frightens you, breezily acknowledge it, make a joke of his attention seeking, then change the subject. Slowly, he'll get the message that his tactics aren't working.

You can also ring his GP to reassure yourself. I told my DF I was planning on doing this once, and, knowing he was about to be outed, he instantly calmed down.

Thanks corygal -
That was why I made him go a an e on Monday as was not gonna spend the week whilst my stepmother away being summoned to his house every 5 minutes. It's really fustrating and depressing - if he's like it now what's he going to be like at 73!?!
What's annoying too is he's spent his whole life fearful of every little thing, pessamistic and doom and gloom, always telling us it ll be ironic for him not to reach retirement age- yet now he's here he continues to moan about how now he can retire he ll probably die of cancer before he gets to enjoy it etc every single day it's a comment like this, it's wearing.
I do believe he's frightened of getting old now and he knows that he ll have nothing to moan about in his job when he gives it up as it's been his biggest moan for 40 yrs.
I feel sorry for him at times but other times I think "think yourself lucky because I'll probably never be able to retire".
Aarrgghh !!!

I can't believe this is a thing!! My DF is exactly the same. He's 65 & lives alone.

He is always worried that there is something wrong with him (AND he has a niggly pain in his side which IS a small hernia & scar tissue from a previous op!!!!! He had an ultrasound)

He has recently been a bit poorly. The chaos this caused in everyone's life was absolutely ridiculous. 4 night visits from nurses, doctor daily. At one point he told me he was dying. It was a condition that people have all the time and carry on with life once the initial problem is sorted.

Even when it cleared, he wouldn't get out of bed & I was still expected to do everything for him. Honestly, he stayed in bed of nearly 3 weeks! Even now, a month later he still isn't sitting downstairs.

Now he says he doesn't want to eat in case it happens again so obvs he's losing weight. He googled weight loss & now thinks he has cancer.

My own DS was poorly recently so I was unable to check on him every 5 minutes & he was upset. It is draining because even though you're frustrated, they're ill so you 'can't ' be overtly annoyed. My DB was though - told him to pull himself together & went home!

I know your pain Blakey and I hope that's not it forever now. Is he just going to give up & be 'ill' forever? Do you think they secretly/subconsciously enjoy being ill?

I know- an I don't know how to handle it.
He also does not put the same strain on my younger brother or sister?!?!
My cousin recently suggested it could be depression, which he has had in past but he doesn't seem overtly unhappy- more he's morbidly fascinated and animated on his pains.
I think it's another form of anxiety that's now overtaking the other doom and gloom anxieties.
Help!!?