My parents are divorced - my father is 92 next month and lives a good 2 hours' drive away. He has Parkinsons. He lives in a McCarthy & Stone complex and my 90 year old aunt lives in the same complex but on a different floor. My dad has another daughter who is in her 60s but they fell out years ago and have had no contact in 25 years. So he's got me and my aunt (and my cousin lives about 3/4 hour from them in the opposite direction).
I phoned him yesterday and he says that my aunt is in hospital (don't know what for) and when she comes out, my cousin wants her in a care home near her. I don't know if she really needs a care home or not as I don't know what's wrong.
He said he thinks he needs a care home too. He has a cleaner but probably needs more extensive help like doing the washing and changing the beds etc. Getting food delivered eg Wiltshire Farm Foods would probably help too. I don't think he should go into a care home yet as his flat is only worth around £140K so the money would run out very quickly (my aunt is better off). I suggested more help at home but he said it would be temporary and he'd need a care home eventually. He probably thinks he'll be dead in a year, but my grandmother lived to be 101. Admittedly she didn't have Parkinsons, but they have longevity in the genes. He can dress himself etc, but it takes him a long time. I don't think he needs personal care at the moment.
My husband (and my mum) think it's a knee-jerk reaction - he's panicking about my aunt potentially not being around anymore. I am concerned that he might try to guilt-trip me into moving him closer to me. I do not want this to happen. Ideally, if he didn't stay where he is for the moment, I'd have him in the same care home as my aunt, but as mentioned above, she's got more money than he has so he might not be able to afford the same one if indeed they had space.
He said the Parkinsons nurse would be visiting him on Feb 12th so I asked him to chat to her about things. Can I ask his county adult services to visit and do an assessment, or would they need a GP referral?